tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-323092672024-03-12T21:28:40.901-07:00::today is a great day for me::thoughts and ramblings and virtues and affirmations.
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger740125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-42558754663384190772021-07-27T08:59:00.001-07:002021-07-27T08:59:26.511-07:00acting below the belt<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> One says, acting below the belt is blaming, disempowering, play victim, not responding, not taking action and not taking ownership.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">So today I am acting below the belt, or yesterday, or the whole month before.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I was given advice that is so contradicting with each other and so conflicting it makes my mind nauseous.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">(And this default Times New Roman that I keep getting when I type, is fucking ugly. No one uses it in 2021. Each time I have to fucking adjust it back to fucking Arial).</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Seeing my housemate going all out in high spirits, as a winner of the month for sales in Unit Trust, should inspire me, but instead it fucking mocked me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Having people having an intervention meeting to check out what's up because I am not taking any action as an investment broker, got me opening up and spilling out what stressed me out. but that's just what it did.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I recieved a call inspiring me on standing up for myself, speaking up for myself, and I called back to share how I am thankful for that mindblowing advice, but then I was being told off that "I am not reflecting it through my actions".</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I was told that I have potential, I am great; at the same time I was TOLD OFF that I am not doing enough.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Perhaps, the best thing to do is to just to just fuck it all up. Give it all up.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It's like every single fucking thing that I do is just fucking not enough.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Maybe I don't need this.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">After all, I have already done my best. Too fucking bad that you guys don't see it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-28453588928326884172021-07-06T11:49:00.000-07:002021-07-06T11:49:46.278-07:00It hits us all, a notch worse than our normal lives<p>The rich becomes restless as they cant spend and enjoy trips.</p><p>The average becomes depressed as loads of work go to them and they are working from home morning, evening, night, and at odd hours.</p><p>The poor, struggling to survive.</p><p>Many decided to end their lives.</p><p>I am one of them, feeling the pressure at work, doing something I honestly hate.</p><p><br /></p><p>But.</p><p>If I were to imagine my consciousness leaping out of my life, looking at the bigger bird view, from above.</p><p>I can actually perceive that this job that I hate, that is pressing me to the ground, is a blessing.</p><p>This quarantine is a blessing.</p><p>I am, actually being blessed with miracles back to back, knowing it or not, loving it or hating it.</p><p><br /></p><p>That stresssful hateful argument that I had with friends of either spending or saving, landed me having precious knowledge and awareness of six months savings, which led me to recalculate my loans, commitments.</p><p>Which led for me to a discovery of the huge money excess that I have, praise God, which I can start use to build up my savings.</p><p>Which led to me exploring and founding ways to upgrade that savings into high profit investments.</p><p>That is already a miracle.</p><p>Next miracle happened when the government <br /><br />1) announced and granted the delay of loan repayment, and </p><p>2) granted withdrawal of money from Employee Retirement Fund. </p><p><br /></p><p>Some do not agree, but to me personally, these are miracle for me. <br />Now I have loads of cash to be transferred into high profit investments.</p><p><br />It is an opportunity to gain bigger returns that overcomes the interest in loan repayment-</p><p>And also a few steps ahead towards early retirement.</p><p>The third miracle, though I am still resisting it, is I am blessed with a good paying job.</p><p>While others are figuring out how to survive, I am just using my salary execute my plan for early retirement.</p><p>And for every day working hours which is stressful, I am granted another miracle, which is the shalat or prayers. A tool that not many were fortunate to comprehend let alone believe in, which has given me the space and time to just drop all my thoughts and worries away even for just a few minutes, giving me solace, and trust to God and His Universe.</p><p>This life at this moment is just perfect.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-37906472282467456482021-06-23T15:11:00.001-07:002021-06-23T15:11:35.684-07:00Owning it up is sometimes the suckiest feeling of all<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> It seems that every night I am presented with a different interesting dream just before I woke up for my morning meditation around 430am.<br /><br />This time it was me, riding a superbike. I was stopped at a tunnel which is also a bridge, something that they have in Putrajaya, crossing the lake.<br /><br />It felt like I fell of my bike when the authorities forced me to get down from my bike. I had to walk to the other end of the bridge and there was somebody who suggested me to get back my bike. And then there was a small scene where I went and buy a face mask at the news stand, realising that I didn't wear one and there were so many people there. <br /><br />Ignore what is the underlying message of the dream, I can see my brain is trying to purge whatever experiences that I got that evening before I went to bed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">One very kind man in our office, passed away after his battle with Covid.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">He was one of my colleagues who gave me unconditional respect everytime he saw me, regardless that I am way younger than him, and I was a newbie. He greets me with a nod, almost like a bow, with this surprising respect, unnecessary calls me "sir", as if I am a prince from a faraway kingdom. That priceless feeling of being important, I thank you for that.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">In the afternoon, I was bugged by the fact that the curtain rod in my room fell off, allowing an uncomfortable extra of light and nakedness feeling from the window. I tried to heat up the old glue on the hook that I pasted on the wall to hang the curtain rod. It fell again a few times.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I went out to buy super glue and was looking for four panels for sheer curtains, in the hopes for a new look for my two windows, and to lessen the weight compared to the thick cotton cottons that I have.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I managed to find and sneaked purchased two panels. Another two, I search high and low in other branches of the same Mr. DIY shop. I finally found another two, and they denied me because of a valid reason: it was not an essential product during the lockdown.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I was fumed inside. I wanted to curse. To me, this IS essential, but to the world it is NOT.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I went back and tried to stick back the hook with the superglue. For now, it worked.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I tried on using just one sheer curtain panel for each window.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">It was just okay, looked like a window screen rather than real curtains, because one panel had to be stretched flat to cover one whole window.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">All this fuss, plus the vacuuming of the floor, and me assuming that my investment drill program was going to start at half an hour later than it was supposed to be, has caused me to become late.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">One of the mentors called me, and I went in, 8 minutes late.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">So of course there is a long lecture on me inside the session about attending late and also a discussion of me not fullfiling my promise to confirm on my program assignment buddy earlier.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When I am late, I do not have integrity.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When it is perpetual, I have no dignity.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">When I don't be my promise, I lose trust.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I don't want to fan things, but it feels SUCKS.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Yesterday sucks, and I am allowing it to infect my feelings this morning.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">And I am aware that I am playing below the line; blame, excuse, and being disempowered.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Being aware and honoring my feelings now is at least a step, I guess.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">For now I just want to sleep.</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-34594859591887328582021-06-14T20:48:00.006-07:002021-06-14T20:48:38.472-07:00Reality at work<span style="font-family: arial;">The fact of being employed is that people do not care of what you feel, or what you are going through.</span><div><span style="font-family: arial;">They just expect your services to be provided with no quality drop.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">They just expect your response and "be friendly".</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">And don't be surprised that those colleagues that you deem understanding and close to you,</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">Put a "constructive feedback" telling you to stop complaining.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">Yes, this is my own experience.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">So it is up to you to be in denial, or to swallow, or to embrace these facts.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">If we choose to look at the bright side, there is a reason why God puts us in a place that we don't feel comfortable of.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">What comes around comes around. I celebrate others, God celebrates me.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">I give others a difficult time, my life will be difficult.</span></div></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">Perhaps I were to learn to be more understanding, have more empathy.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">To be more humble because ultimately all our skills our salary our gifts are from God.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">We are but an empty vessel which is granted with so many things from Him.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">To have awareness doesn't mean that we are admitting that we are a convict, or a faulty product.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">It just makes us a grateful, real, beautiful human being.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-50619386398672978322021-06-13T18:44:00.002-07:002021-06-13T18:44:14.099-07:00ALONE. LONELINESS<p><span style="font-family: arial;">So today, is the first day I am back alone again during this lockdown.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">My housemate has went back to his wife's town, and the other temp housemate has already shifted to a city half an hour away</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I did not sleep last night.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">This is supposed to be nothing alien for me, but at the back of my mind, it is affecting me. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Being the extrovert me, I shine in the presence of others.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Nevertheless, it is time to shine.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I can leverage this time alone being productive, attracting wealth, support, love, joy, financially free.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Let's not waste even a second.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Heck, I can even strip naked around the house!</span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-81738997123753294872021-06-13T04:59:00.003-07:002021-06-13T04:59:19.157-07:00a good reset, a good restart<p><span style="font-family: arial;"> Alhamdulillah,</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Today Sunday morning I was fresh and so were the participants of today for the investment tutorial online.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">My mentor and another coach were all beaming and so was I, and the Sunday morning light was on point on my face. Sometimes you feel good when you look good.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">The class was informative, full of positive vibes, and I am grateful.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">I am also inspired to share more with people.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">All it takes is for me to dial people's number and share with them how possible, really, it is, to retire young and wealthy, even when it is the pandemic and economy goes down, as long as you have the correct access and... just believe.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;">InshaAllah.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-26704779409984976592021-06-12T23:26:00.004-07:002021-06-12T23:26:43.787-07:00Separation is never easy<p>Be it a break up of a 10 year old relationship. Or a sayonara after a good vacation with friends. Or departing after a good coffee together. It is normal to feel sad.</p><p>My housemate brought his ex student to stay over at my condo few months ago. Now that he has found a room to rent, nearby and convenient for him to go to work, today he has packed his stuff and said goodbye.</p><p>I have always been an extrovert, but became an ambivert by choice and practice. Therefore people leaving my place is something that I don't really feel joyful about. After all if I wanna privacy, I can simply shut myself in my room.</p><p>This boy has been a very good housemate. Sometimes he helps vacuuming the house, and cleaned the kitchen, sparkly clean. He scrubbed up to the corners.</p><p>Nothing is permanent and I wish him the best. </p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-68304881505956903082021-06-11T11:05:00.001-07:002021-06-11T11:05:10.520-07:00Withstanding people who are full of crap<p>So called literate and so called educated people are full of crap too.</p><p>They don't have confidence and they have fear.</p><p>They are not willing to take risk.</p><p>They are not interested to have an amazing future.</p><p>If I spend one more second with them, I am full of crap too. Let them be. </p><p>To love them and to love myself,</p><p>I move on focusing on my own future and not theirs. True enough, drag a horse and they won't even drink.</p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-75525187404243941762021-06-06T20:54:00.000-07:002021-06-06T20:54:04.455-07:00it is ok being human<p> It is okay to have low energy, and witness the circumstances of it, and allow it to be. </p><p>Ironically I do not need to be perky and up all the time.</p><p>Honoring what I feel, and I am just aware that sometimes things do not need to be perfect</p><p>and it is not my fault or anybody's fault.</p><p><br /></p><p>I sense that no matter if my investments plans work, it is part and parcel of life that people still reject with baffling and unexplainable reasons. They have this fear of investing, perhaps they were burnt before.</p><p>No need to be over analytical, over possesive and obsessive that one should be in my list of loyal trusting investors. God works in mysterious ways, who knows my big investor could be one staying in some foreign country, investing in their own currency? </p><p>As long as I stay focused, keep on to my believe, do the work and keep on putting trust in God.</p><p>Amen.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-34869632908363824852021-06-06T09:37:00.003-07:002021-06-06T20:47:19.901-07:00About goals in life<p>It is appalling when people think their opinion is the only valid one and they try to impose their ways on me.</p><p>Back in 2020, I have started a decoration plant business where I also deliver to my customers. My strategy is to keep the price low, as I am inspired to give the opportunity to my customers to enjoy owning beautiful plants at an affordable price. My friends were trying to teach me that I should put a higher price to reward my effort. And they continued non stop preaching it to my ears.</p><p>It was my own choice on how to run my business, but you guys just can't f**ing stop!</p><p>The second group of people are colleagues who saw that I lose weight after the lockdown. I was consistently working out at home and stopped eating carbs and sugar since end of 2019. It was a liberating enjoyable experience. Sadly, these people non stop commenting I look unwell, and suggesting me to eat rice again. I have stopped eating carbs for years and I am f**ing fine. It is all of you, who need to worry on your ownself, having high blood pressure and pre diabetes because of your fabulous diet.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thirdly are those who questioned my goals in life. I initially was super inspired to take action in my MLM business because my goal is to free my father from employment. Some mentors had the nerve to say my goal is not inspiring, I should be selfish and put materialistic goals instead, like owning a merc. </p><p>And it happened again this year. My goal is to obtain passive income via investment so that I will be free from employment, retire young, and enjoy every bit of my days doing the things that I want at home. Some mentor is not happy of my target of doing nothing after retirement. I need a purpose, they said. What about my purpose is after retirement I am gonna really do nothing including having nothing to do with you.</p><p>The worst advice been given to me is I shouldn't be angry and trying to prove people wrong, as it is "not my truth" and I won't be peaceful and happy. Wow. Your words are the one which is making me unhappy, thanks so much!</p><p><br /></p><p>All these so called advice are disrespectful, insulting my choices in life. If you call me stubborn for being this way, then yeah I am stubborn for my own choices, and my life is my decision. Hey! Nobody, including your mother, died because of my decisions in my own life.</p><p>I am f***ly going to prove you so wrong. </p><p>You all unnecessary stirred **** even after when I already gave the sign that I don't appreciate you questioning my choices.</p><p>The lesson to learn here is I need to stop being what I have always been. I regret for being open, unconditional and always wanted to share.</p><p>I am going to shut my mouth. You don't need me sharing my life much as I do not need your opinion.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-68713646951977467502021-05-26T08:38:00.032-07:002021-05-26T08:51:59.974-07:00that painful feeling in the tummy<p> Just like the months before,</p><p>After paying all my commitments for the month, there it comes again, that painful sore in my gut.</p><p>All it came when I witness my bank balance went down to only RM600, and I still have 30 days to go.</p><p>And this time it is worse because I do not have extra to submit into my retirement savings, as I have paid RM600 to replace my mom's water filter cartridge, and her vitamin Cs.</p><p>I have also spent RM140 on cat food, and RM70 for flowers for two friends' birthday.</p><p>Logically, I am back to square one. Logically I am fucking broke just like for the past 10 years.</p><p>Expenses are still high, and I have an extra useless apartment to pay which nobody stays.</p><p>All in all, I sound like a broken record.</p><p>I have vowed to myself once I step into the investors' intensive 5 months program, I shall change my being, my limited belief.</p><p>Believing in the unseen.</p><p>No matter what circumstances that I am facing today, it has NOTHING to do with my amazing unbelievable future.</p><p>Acting above the line.</p><p>I shall NOT blame the people around me or put them responsible to my circumstances now. The decision I chose yesterday have shaped my current situation(s) today.</p><p>I am my own rescue. I DO NOT NEED YOU TO RESCUE ME.<br /><br /><br /></p><p>Doing something different.</p><p>I have shared this same damned issue to people who are closest to me, and I have decided that the conversations and feedback deemed useless. I am not blaming them, it is MY DECISION. Maybe their advice could be true, but after so many times recieving the same advice and I do not find them work for me- I shall STOP complaining to them and start take ownership of my own life. <br /><br /></p><p>Stop asking permission.</p><p>I decide that my journey now is leading me towards my dream future,</p><p>I am successful, I am powerful, I am resourceful, I am hot, attractive, fit and healthy.</p><p>I am letting go that today I cannot scrape some from my salary balance for my savings.</p><p>So what if there is no salary balance for savings, and so what if it is RM600 left?</p><p>So it is how it is. What new scary thrilling game will I create to get that RM1000 for my savings this month?</p><p>I now STOP feeling sorry or feeling painful in the gut for my life. </p><p>I shall be unstoppable. Because the resource is from within me.</p><p>I turn this fear into FIERCE.</p><p>I turn this sad into ANGER.</p><p>And this fierce and anger will fuel up my actions.</p><p>Empowerment, fluffy joy and inspiration? No, no, no.</p><p>This time let me be an angry tiger.</p><p>InshaAllah I will be doing just great.</p><p>As for the useless apartment? Let me find a time to make it useful, for sale or for rent.</p><p>One fucking thing at a time.</p><p><br /></p><p>p/s: two investors need to be registered now, they are waiting!</p><p>And excuse my grammar, I am just typing out from my mind, sorry, no time to waste on petty grammar mistakes. DONE.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-35619000163832092152018-07-11T20:33:00.000-07:002018-07-11T20:33:09.288-07:00like it or not, i discovered something.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hi again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I feel that I want to pour it all out, I discovered
that this is the venue.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What else have I discovered in life lately?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered that no matter what I do, life goes back
reminding me that I need to expand my business to have a good life and have OTHERS
have a good life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered that although I am left with just a few hundred
ringgits in my bank, the blessing is that I have managed to pay the "sudden fees" of [car road tax + car service + paying back
client] which sums up to additional 3000++ ringgit. Therefore being a bit broke is just natural.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And inshaAllah, money and food is
always there for me. Open houses and food invitation came back to back, and
I didn’t have to spend. I could judge myself as going down like a scavenger, like a beggar, but hey, I discovered that is just insulting the blessings that God has given to me to survive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The air that we breath. The free food from blessful invitations of Eid Mubarak.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered that when I had “no choice but to use my friend's bike” instead of drive, actually I was GIVEN an opportunity to use
the bike to save money. It WAS a choice. It was a blessing. I didn’t have to
resort to borrow money just to travel.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered that when I bike, I experienced humility as
well as confidence, because I know at the back of my mind that I still have a
shining car parked in my condo. This sounds superficial, but I realized something deeper: eventually I can still have self-confidence regardless at any point of life I will be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered again that biking has a different brake momentum and
balancing, and how to adjust to avoid crashing into cars. The car drivers perceived that they have changed lanes in a safe manner, but still feels dangerously abrupt in biker's perception.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered when my car stopped dead because the fuel was completely finished, just 10 meters from the gas station; I am blessed. Because I wasn't stranded ELSE WHERE. Because there were kindhearted gas station workers willing to push my car to the gas hose.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered when my bike went dead, ALSO because the fuel was completely finished, 400 meters from the gas station; I am blessed. Because there is one biker who helped pushing my bike using his foot while he rode his bike, all the way to the gas station. Bless his soul.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have discovered that getting involved in performing arts takes hard work, focus, energy, time, and money being spent. And for me to have all that luxury, I need to expand my business first.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered that I don’t deserve to lament about my job. I will always be stuck in this job, UNTIL I put both my feet,
hands, body and mind in nothing else but expanding my business.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I discovered my job is still a blessing. It gives me money to survive for my business expansion, it gives me experience molding me to be a leader for my business expansion.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bikers, dancers, singers, trainers, businessmen, humanity
and MY OWN SELF, I salute us all, for we, at some point of time have done so
much. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In conclusion to ALL OF THE ABOVE, I discovered-</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doing so much is not enough. Life is short. Decide what is BEST for our OWN lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I discovered that Bismillahi Tawakkaltu Alallah, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
regardless that I am imperfect, inshaAllah I will be safe and successful.</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-19761063969904564702018-02-26T17:26:00.001-08:002018-02-26T17:26:17.393-08:00sunny morning and i miss youNow I understood the quote that people say;<br />
<br />
The most meaning relationships are not necessarily the ones that you expect bursts of fireworks happening in it, or being with the hottest person on earth, or the one that is 100 percent perfect with no fights.<br />
<br />
Looking back, now I understood your pain.<br />
You were so in love with me, even tried to tame your jealousy and fury, just for me.<br />
<br />
You always have put thoughts on me in your own way, it hurts you when I don't seem to act to reflect the same way.<br />
<br />
I realized that you were so in love with me, even the rational and irrational things that you do is because you were so in love with me.<br />
<br />
It's a little too late though.<br />
<br />
Now it hurts to think that you have already left to be in the arms of a better man.<br />
<br />
Now it hurts to think that you will never come back to me, because you are already happy with the best.<br />
<br />
Someone who is fitter, taller (lol), hotter, wealthier, has achieved so further milestones than me.<br />
<br />
Who am I compared to him?<br />
<br />
As I tearfully wailed in the car realizing how stupid I was, I also said a huge PADAN MUKA to myself.<br />
<br />
It feels like a stab, like recieving the news of death.<br />
<br />
It's a little too late though.<br />
<br />
It's a little too late.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-25187165459689317872017-09-26T21:53:00.003-07:002017-09-26T21:53:54.978-07:00"being upset is expensive"I can't afford to be upset.<br />
Especially when the upset comes out of the blue, almost for no reason.<br />
These are just counterproductive distractions that I should just ignore,<br />
Like ignoring a negative friend who keeps on whining with no valid reason.<br />
<br />
I have so many actions to do on my plate,<br />
AND I AM CAPABLE TO DO THEM.<br />
<br />
Doing some info search on one or two products that I am targeting to market this week.<br />
Prepare 5 articles related on facial for me to boost on my webpage.<br />
Follow up<br />
1) A potential facial client who already inquired<br />
2) A potential product client to meet up<br />
3) 3 potential investors/business partners<br />
<br />
<br />
So if I dwell in this upset too long, it will cost me to lose momentum.<br />
And momentum is very precious.<br />
<br />
My business is not gonna wait for me too long before it runs to another businessman.<br />
Gotta run.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-65309605817122618402017-09-24T22:26:00.002-07:002017-09-24T22:26:56.754-07:00the surest way to waste your life is living without a vision.There, the feels.<br />
Smack right in front of me when I stared for a second or two on my online bank balance, after quickly transferring money here and there to pay my monthly loans.<br />
<br />
I can see that this will be the future for me for another 12 months, if I don't take any action.<br />
I am now already having half of my mind in disbelief, and the other half ready to accepting it, when suddenly my mind wandered to another zone..<br />
<br />
This will be the future, only if I don't take action.<br />
<br />
If. I. Don't. Take Action.<br />
<br />
What if I do?<br />
No, not the actions I have already taken. Entrepeneurs do not dwell in the past.<br />
What about consistently repeating the productive actions I have already taken, and adding on bigger, inspiring, amazing actions?<br />
<br />
Where are the vivid posters shouting for people to realise that they need a break, need a stress free facial service from me? (I am doing facial now as part of my business).<br />
<br />
When will I stop doubting myself and march straight to the potential person (or to the phone) and invite them to discuss on join venturing and expanding this business?<br />
<br />
The fewer risks I take, the less chance I will succeed.<br />
<br />
I can't do this alone. I need a team. So I need to find people to be in this team.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-51947557801857694052017-09-13T20:43:00.003-07:002017-09-13T20:43:34.302-07:00fireworks up your ass.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Once I decided to change
reprogram myself to live the life of a successful man. My actions, my thinking,
my approach, should reflect that. It includes discipline, persistent, integrity
(doing what I say), good time management, objective, staying empowered, managing
my stress, focusing on productivity & positivity, and stop involving in
conversations which are cynical and pessimistic. All the bombastic words you
name it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
When this is declared, the
universe is not going to give me flowers and sweets.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The universe is going to give my
fireworks. Fireworks that burn my ass as I walk this path.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Really? I wanna be resourceful? I
wanna try leadership? I wanna be unwaivered?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Let us test you. If you are going
to trip and fall, will you still be a stand of the call that you make?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Or are you just acah-acah je?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So now challenges come from every
nook and corner.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It feels like I received failures
more often on my IT desk.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It feels like I received upsets
more often in my relationship.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It feels like I received fearsome
prospects more often in my business.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Let’s just change those words
into challenges, and challenges are actually opportunities.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It feels like I received opportunities
more often on my IT desk.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It feels like I received opportunities
more often in my relationship.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It feels like I received bigger
opportunities through bigger prospects in my business.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
This is not some bull. True that
failures are challenges, and challenges are opportunities.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Think average and things which
suck stay suck. Think big and things which suck give you potential of many
things; growth, making a difference, turning the world around..</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
So<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>yeah I am commited in making a difference.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Life is like a set of small
assignments. I take it on one by one right now with no expectation. If in the
end it did not work, I have the freedom to declare another game. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-87704595063858460002017-01-16T22:06:00.001-08:002017-01-16T22:06:18.849-08:00not deciding anything. i just wanna color my anti stress coloring book.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJwXvm84yz7xapxj4P7xdROkjwxBfjj7yCoAiOnUqbGOgchcY1BvvuuTz77Sa_7Yj-gQHUuzxNTN0Puz9XOmPKoScnNTu4WO-JQ5Ut0QUBvK1hl0aBq71syer7ZmB1-m6s9WsYzQ/s1600/decide.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJwXvm84yz7xapxj4P7xdROkjwxBfjj7yCoAiOnUqbGOgchcY1BvvuuTz77Sa_7Yj-gQHUuzxNTN0Puz9XOmPKoScnNTu4WO-JQ5Ut0QUBvK1hl0aBq71syer7ZmB1-m6s9WsYzQ/s320/decide.jpg" width="228" /></a></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-43259817085436844312017-01-16T19:07:00.001-08:002017-01-16T19:07:48.501-08:00being present: notice, breath, use senses, be with it.Here is something that I got while wandering through the net.<br />
<br />
Mindfullness - Being present, a type of meditation.<br />
<br />Too busy to meditate? Here is what you can do:<br />
<br />
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">5 tips to
incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine:</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">1. Notice, don’t think. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">Pretend
you are a traveler or student encountering this activity for the very first
time. Don’t judge, label, and think about what you’re doing. Just notice.
Notice every detail with an open, beginner’s mind.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">2. When in doubt, check your breathing. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">If you
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feel yourself breathe. Just paying attention to a few breaths will bring you
back to the present moment.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">3. You have 5 senses, use them. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">Mindfulness
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noticing what something looks like. What does it smell like? Feel it with your
hands. What is the texture? Temperature? What do you hear?</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">4. Have a strategy to handle nagging thoughts. </span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">Occasionally
we all have thoughts that won’t go away—so you need a strategy for how to
handle them. I like to have a notebook with me at all times to write any
nagging to-dos, ideas or issues. If you write them down, your mind can relax
because it knows you can go back to them later</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">5. It is what it is.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">You don’t
need to analyze your mindfulness experience. Don’t worry about <i>what it all
means </i>or if you’re being <i>mindful enough</i>. Just try to be mindful
every day. Come more fully into the present moment. Let the experience be what
it is.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">While
this might not fit the ideal of a perfect, solitary meditation practice, it
works for me. It works because it gets me to the right place—the present
moment.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-MY;">Every
week when I make bread, I re-discover that by mixing, kneading and baking, I am
able to come more fully into the present moment and really connect with
life. And isn’t that the purpose of a meditation practice in the first
place?</span></div>
<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-28264408627874587112017-01-16T06:17:00.000-08:002017-01-16T06:17:08.406-08:00In between meditation songs and meditative coloring booksSo I have picked up new things to keep myself amused. Or in peace. I have downloaded one solfeggio 528Hz which is claimed to heal the heart and open it up to love.<br />
<br />
Yesterday was a Sunday and after that painful argument with him, I stayed at home, replaying the solfeggio over and over. I dozed off, woke up, sometimes sobbing so hard, Milo snuggled next to me. Strange. It seems like cats could detect that you are in this sorrow, unexplainable, especially when you are considered as the bad person and losing part of this fight.<br />
<br />
So tonight I got myself a few de stress coloring pages. Truly it challenges you to focus, relax, and ready for a good sleep.<br />
<br />
So good night world. I am not ready yet to talk to you. But surely I am ready to sleep.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-31546443835840072252017-01-15T00:20:00.000-08:002017-01-15T00:20:14.376-08:00chantique was buried todayIt is funny that this is the place that I would type my thoughts, when I feel that other trending social media and messengers are too noisy for me. Although this is gonna be published, it still feels private here.<br />
<br />
I have to say thanks to him for answering the call, and accepting to follow me finding a nice spot to bury Chantique today. Chantique was his favorite, always been given attention by him. He cried when Chantique nearly died the first time, but this time he decided to hide his tears.<br />
<br />
As for me and him? My heart says wishfully that, no, everything will be alright again in the end. But perhaps I am not the right partner for him.<br />
<br />
He has sacrificed a lot, and has devoted himself so much in my life. But I have not fulfilled his requirements.<br />
<br />
Am I willing to admit that I am not suitable for a relationship? Can that make me complete? It does feel lonely when there is no one there for you waiting in your life. On the other hand it takes too much to be in a relationship.<br />
<br />
What do I feel now?<br />
I feel that I should just be with myself now.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-28791613937536496532015-04-13T09:21:00.000-07:002015-04-13T09:21:07.603-07:00i wish we never have metBy then, I won't have to take the action of approaching you.<br />
<br />
By then, I won't have the hopes for you.<br />
<br />
By then, I won't have to feel this heart ache everytime you are around with your friends who are also mine.<br />
<br />
But I do have a choice to have peace with you. There is only one way.<br />
<br />
To never ever see your face again.<br />
If you can't be mine, then it is fair that<br />
you get the hell out of my life.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-72609866593743388092015-02-16T08:12:00.001-08:002015-02-16T08:12:06.929-08:00on appreciationThere are times that you feel as if you have ttried your best but seems that no results happened.<br />
<br />
And because of that you become the less favored person in the team. Which is a logical thing to happen.<br />
<br />
Maybe i am just being dramatic.<br />
<br />
I will have to let it go.<br />
And my effort is not to impress people.<br />
I will still do my best and<br />
if there is no results, let it be!<br />
<br />
I still experience growth.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-20764838428851696562015-01-26T16:54:00.000-08:002015-01-26T16:54:08.384-08:002015 kick startTrapped in this jam from home to office.<br />
Pondering that most of my screw ups are because of me failing to prepare things ahead.<br />
<br />
Simple things. Like ironing a few shirts every night to clear up the laundry heap.<br />
So that i won't be in a rush to iron one shirt to wear the next day for work.<br />
<br />
Mentioning that.<br />
Today I will have a quick makeup tutorial with a new friend. He was trained by trainers from Paris. I might be inviting him to join with our team to expand our makeup and skincare prestige brand.<br />
For the session tonight, I am gonna be attentive focused and having fun!<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-25061882238805961372013-10-20T12:17:00.002-07:002013-10-20T12:17:51.018-07:00its just in my headJust a few things that I saw on facebook can totally screw up my state of mind.<br />
<br />
Few cute guys refused to reply my hi s.<br />
<br />
An old schoolmate beaming because he is buying another property.<br />
<br />
A female acquaintance writing happilly about another cute guy without mentioning me.<br />
<br />
It is amazing that only a few reads and the negative cynical pessimist side of the mind starting to process and make conclusions about "how bad life can be".<br />
<br />
It is 3.15 am now and I will now not going to waste and should be in bed.<br />
<br />
Nite. Tomorrow, all these is but a nonsense and it will be a great day for everyone. You and me included.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32309267.post-54267509165255010652013-10-07T22:11:00.000-07:002013-10-07T22:11:01.468-07:00I am blessed. thank GodI wake up almost each morning with this view.<br />
<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0