nice weather, init?

When I was in high school, I am known as the queer one. Brought up in an all boys school, the loud ‘popular’ ones would see me in a different way. It is a culture for everyone to make fun of everyone, and I wasn’t exempted from that.

I took what they said about me as nasty remarks and it made me really upset. I felt unwanted, and I isolate myself from the whole batch. My friends were only those in the school orchestra, and those who have the same sexuality as mine.

The funny thing is, my friends who were oriented the same way as me, and some were really effeminate, did not struggle the way I did.

It’s just the matter of what we make it mean of what had happened in our surroundings. So what if the straight dudes called us with creative rude names. My friends have proved that during their high school life, they couldn’t be bothered of what their classmates say about them. It’s just something that every student in the school does.

Instead of being offended, they joined the whole group. They tease you, you tease them back. They were being powerful by not making it so significant. After all, you won’t die just because your school mate made fun of you.

Because of my experience in high school, subconsciously a gap was created between me and any straight guy that I have to communicate with. I feel awkward being around with them; and my good reason is that their mind and what they talk about is so different to that of mine.

But seriously –if we embrace the differences among us, suprisingly it will make us united.

I gave up my myth and perception about straight guys out there.

It actually takes only one person to initiate a communication between two individuals.
If both sides decided to keep quiet, then no conversation would happen.
And then both sides would start to make assumptions of the other,
Without even taking the initiative to start the talk.

I now take on being responsible to that.
And I can choose to just observe, or start to greet them.

And the funny thing is, you can realize that,
Actually they are as scared, as timid, and as shy as we do.

So, how about we take on the role of starting the conversation.

Don’t just sit there-
Say hi.


asm@di said...

arrived via musang's

i was flamboyant when i was in school. too flam in fact.

i remember walking down the school corridor and at the far side of the building boys would woolf whistle and all.

instead of walking with my head down, i waved to them ala miss universe. that always made them go wild

*sigh* the old days. i sometimes miss them.

::airswift:: said...

something sweet to remember huh?

joshua said...

I just think that, a person only gets miserable if he/she allows the M.E.A.N. people to do that.

*just stumbled on ur blog! me likey the read

Bibik Nyonya said...

My school? Ko pondan....ko mampus. Be prepared to retrieve your school bag from the big dustbin outside the school and oh...remember the wipe the piss off your table.

Yups, its that horror where i came from. So...count yourself lucky you just got teasings. Ha ha ha!

Mlle Linie said...

ala miss universe is a good way of responding! haha..

teases are common la.. some lurus guys do that because they're scared shit so they just build up their esteem through teasing and making fun of others..

i know cause my str8 guy friends tell me so..

it's just funny though why gay men are not well accepted by str8 men compared to 2 gurls getting on...

it amuses me every time..

::airswift:: said...

wow. you've got a good point there.

::airswift:: said...

yeap. MEAN people exist.
they are just part of life.
it's up to us to deal with it, right?


zacharoo! said...

Can't help but notice how cute the drawing is. Did you draw that yourself?

::airswift:: said...

for an instance there i wanted to object by saying that "for each event or occurence, it gives different impact to different people."

it's quite immaterial for me to even compare my experiences to those tortured and murdered homosexuals in the middle east.

what's more relevant is how do i get to be powerful out of the things that i deal with in life.

no matter how huge or no matter how petty the breakdowns that i have to deal with.

but i have to agree with you- WHAT YOU SAID IS TRUE.

my whole life- every small bits of moment in it- from the day i was born, til the day that i die- is all nothing but a miracle.

the good parts of my life is good, and the bad parts of my life are just chances for me to gain breakthroughs.

i am lucky to be what i am, and sometimes i am even luckier than anyone else in this world. :)

so. yeah, i count my blessings.

::airswift:: said...

hello dear dear.
no la. that cartoon i got from internet onli...d