When I feel that I want to pour it all out, I discovered that this is the venue.
What else have I discovered in life lately?
I discovered that no matter what I do, life goes back reminding me that I need to expand my business to have a good life and have OTHERS have a good life.
I discovered that although I am left with just a few hundred ringgits in my bank, the blessing is that I have managed to pay the "sudden fees" of [car road tax + car service + paying back client] which sums up to additional 3000++ ringgit. Therefore being a bit broke is just natural.
And inshaAllah, money and food is always there for me. Open houses and food invitation came back to back, and I didn’t have to spend. I could judge myself as going down like a scavenger, like a beggar, but hey, I discovered that is just insulting the blessings that God has given to me to survive.
The air that we breath. The free food from blessful invitations of Eid Mubarak.
I discovered that when I had “no choice but to use my friend's bike” instead of drive, actually I was GIVEN an opportunity to use the bike to save money. It WAS a choice. It was a blessing. I didn’t have to resort to borrow money just to travel.
I discovered that when I bike, I experienced humility as well as confidence, because I know at the back of my mind that I still have a shining car parked in my condo. This sounds superficial, but I realized something deeper: eventually I can still have self-confidence regardless at any point of life I will be.
I discovered again that biking has a different brake momentum and balancing, and how to adjust to avoid crashing into cars. The car drivers perceived that they have changed lanes in a safe manner, but still feels dangerously abrupt in biker's perception.
I discovered when my car stopped dead because the fuel was completely finished, just 10 meters from the gas station; I am blessed. Because I wasn't stranded ELSE WHERE. Because there were kindhearted gas station workers willing to push my car to the gas hose.
I discovered when my bike went dead, ALSO because the fuel was completely finished, 400 meters from the gas station; I am blessed. Because there is one biker who helped pushing my bike using his foot while he rode his bike, all the way to the gas station. Bless his soul.
I have discovered that getting involved in performing arts takes hard work, focus, energy, time, and money being spent. And for me to have all that luxury, I need to expand my business first.
I discovered that I don’t deserve to lament about my job. I will always be stuck in this job, UNTIL I put both my feet, hands, body and mind in nothing else but expanding my business.
I discovered my job is still a blessing. It gives me money to survive for my business expansion, it gives me experience molding me to be a leader for my business expansion.
Bikers, dancers, singers, trainers, businessmen, humanity and MY OWN SELF, I salute us all, for we, at some point of time have done so much.
In conclusion to ALL OF THE ABOVE, I discovered-
Doing so much is not enough. Life is short. Decide what is BEST for our OWN lives.
And I discovered that Bismillahi Tawakkaltu Alallah,
regardless that I am imperfect, inshaAllah I will be safe and successful.