last time you were Z. now you are X.

April 13th, 2010. 740am.

A rebound is an undefined period following the break up of a romantic relationship. The term's colloquial use in the United States can be dated to at least the early 1980s[1]

Someone who is "on the rebound," or recently out of a serious dating relationship, is popularly believed to be psychologically incapable of making reasonable decisions regarding suitable partners due to emotional neediness, lingering feelings towards the old partner, or unresolved problems from the previous relationship. Rebound relationships are believed to be short-lived due to one partner's emotional instability and desire to distract themselves from a painful break up, and those emerging from serious relationships are often advised to avoid serious dating until their tumultuous emotions have calmed.

Dear X.

Now I am experiencing the term “rebound”.
I know that this past relationship will never ever work even if we reconcile at any time, unless if there is a strange miracle happening here.
But regardless of that, by knowing and aware of the reality doesn’t mean that I could grasp it firmly, without being waivered by these silly emotions.

I can’t share with you how excited I was to see my favorite professional photographer doing his job at a very expensive wedding. And on the same day, I had a successful photo shoot assignment with my very first model, and she did well!

I can’t share with you my frustration on this secretary who scolded me via email, (she even cc it to my direct superior and my colleague) after I asked her help to print screen the list of printers that she has got on her PC. She said that it’s YOUR JOB. So I replied back to her that I am sorry if a small favor that I requested from her has troubled her so much, therefore from that day on forth I promise I wouldn’t ask any assistance from her at all. So much of a girl who is in her own container and cannot co-operate to make the job done fast.

And I can't share with you my woes on the fraud mobile phone registration by the person who stole my ID card, and a lawyer's letter arrived at my place saying that I owe the company about one grand and a half.

I can’t share with you how I couldn’t wait for my next pay check, summed with my savings, and I will be owning my very own intermediate Digital Single Lens Reflex!

I guess my sorrow is just a way for me to run away from being responsible with my life. I depend too much on people.

Should stand up, fight, earn and achieve more.
Easier said than done.
I wish I could just go back screw myself and sleep.