being single in 2012

It has been a couple of months that I am walking my life alone. As in being single. And being that way, I have started to say hi to few hot and cute guys from Facebook, and receiving their hi back. The process is extremely slow, they will often reach back to me at the end of the day or they just simple leave my messages unanswered even after a few messages sent.

It is frustrating. I started to wonder how ugly and unfit I am for them, and looking at the mirror in disgust. I was wondering how can I afford to fly to Korea and have a total makeover surgery, perhaps making myself look like a tanned Korean star. Perhaps that will bring me more response than what I get now.

I want a person that looks fiery hot to my eyes, that will make me excited and fuzzy inside everytime I am about to meet him. Someone who goes all out in his career as well as concerned of his personal quality time. Someone who means business but at the same time knows where to be a happy go lucky person.

My wish for the perfect person leaves me wondering do I deserve it? Perhaps I have neither money nor look. I have not even achieved anything, as what the mind thought.

I led myself to a knockdown where I lay down crouching on the bed, thinking how misfortunate this being called ‘me’, who longs so much for the right hot person to come to me and be in my life.

And then my dear friend helped me to go beyond what’s already stuck in my view.
I have been limited myself inside the view that all the cute guys that I approach SHOULD respond to me and that expectation is ridiculous, as well as stopping me from discovering the right one. What if seeking relationships is THAT easy? Perhaps if I get to get in touch with a guy after just one phone call, what if he is actually a narcissist and emotionally tortures me inside the relationship?

So now I have new promises for myself.

MY PROMISE INSIDE SEEKING RELATIONSHIP.

You will enjoy each chance you get to approach people, simply that the chance is granted as a privilege given to you, not to anyone else.

You will expect nothing in return but you will be excited even by a small gesture that you get back. You indulge in it.

You will play full out, open your options, expand the number of your candidates, for friendships and for better selection range.

You will put trust in God, do your prayers and take care of your relationship with God beforehand. You will have faith.

You will live in the stand of the possibility of seeing joy in the tiniest gifts in life.