punch card!!

This week my life was full of its ups and downs.
That is what life is. It’s just whole and perfect with its pains and gains.
Whenever there is a breakdown, there will always be a breakthrough for me to discover.

There is this same hesitation of me typing it all-
It seems too personal, but that shouldn’t stop me from wanting to share.

The week started with me choosing my job the way it is and the way it’s not.

I’ve being responsible of choosing to accept orders from a staff of the upper level, regardless that he is a new staff. It’s how the hierarchy is designed, and I am at peace the moment I acknowledge him as one of the leaders in the department. By being that, I’ve taken the responsibility of being nice and communicative- and I discovered that he is not a bad boss at all. He is just giving orders to make things happen correctly in the office. That’s just it!

I’ve being responsible of choosing the fact that I need to handle many requests in one day from various departments. By choosing that, I only differentiate things which work and things which doesn’t work; and not creating a drama out of it. If it works, then it’s cool. If it doesn’t work, let’s do something about it. True, I still experienced stress, but I am now aware that it’s just part of the job. With that, my stress gets down to a minimum point. Even better- sometimes it just goes away.

I’ve discovered that I am being making myself not worthy and not good as the other colleagues, and my reasons are such as I did not get a good pointer in my degree, and I did not excel in certain core parts in my field. My own way of being caused me to be upset and I lose power in my working life.

I just made myself aware of it; and just choose that I do have things that I can offer and I do have things that I couldn’t deliver. It’s just the way it is! From there I could see an opening. I’ve given up concluding myself not worthy and not good.

So I started to give what I have to offer- and I was happy by what I discovered.
I am so worthy, needed and wanted- people were even requesting me to be at their department immediately after they called. I had so many tasks that I needed to settle, and I was able to execute them, one by one.

And finally, I discovered that my human machinery is always trying to find evidence that this job doesn’t suit me. True, there are the easy times and they will always be the difficult times; I just have to deal with it. It’s just my ego wanting me not to say this- but now I am admitting it- I LOVE MY JOB. It’s another game of life I have declared- and I am happy that I’ve played it well. The game is still on; and I am committed in playing full out; with its ups and downs.