The posting before this was just a learning experience for me.
Dear dear Z was so good in detecting that I was not totally free of my upset.
What I really saw is that my posting before this is just an act of struggle- trying to defend myself, as a result of making myself wrong for not able to deliver my message to everyone close to me (resulting that they MIGHT feel fear, weird, uncomfortable and resigned of my breakthroughs).
Am I a failure? No. The person who gave me life in this world- my mom, she totally got that I am a changed person. And there are also a few friends that got me too.
I now give up making the “failure” as something so significant to myself, because there's something more significant beyond that. The intention is not about the message being delivered- but my commitment in giving space for people to be supported and appreciated- whenever they need it from me. Yeah, that includes you too. And one tip that pakar scientist gave me about having people to feel appreciated, is by not force- but by just allowing them to be themselves.
I declare that in myself, this issue is now closed- and I can see that it's always possible for me to go all out with my intentions- but not making it so significant if I get an outcome that I do not like.
After all, life is just a game!