Finally it came to a time when I was so determined to have it all-
And I had it all,
Til I got confused.

I went through an interview as one of the management staff of the most prestigious orchestra in the country.
There's an 80 percent probability that I have already nailed the job.

As much as being excited, half believing that I was there, at the management office, and went through doors and finally having myself sitting at the orchestra box, watching the orchestra rehearsed-

I am now also experiencing doubt, fear, and uncertainty.

Should I just take this job?
Or should I stay as an IT Executive in another prestigious company, working at day and having all my free time after work, to develop myself as a trumpet player?

You might feel weird, how come I am still thinking, instead of just grabbing the chance thrown in front of my face?

Afte all, to have this orchestra management job, I will be really closely related to an orchestra.

But as close as I can get, I fear that I'll just be dealing with the musicians but never will be one of the players. I fear that all my working life will be devoted to manage the orchestra, and I fear that I will be too busy, that I have to give up all my involvement as an actual player in other orchestras.

So near but yet so far.

Hm. Decisions, decisions.


lyana said...

there are times, when you just have to get over "will i be able to do this" and all the doubts in your mind- and just do it!

ingatlah kata kata keramat datin azizon.

just do it! do it!

chikanoz said...

if i were you i would take the offer simply because its what i like doing. furthermore, u can always get back to IT if the job simply doesn't suit u. but to get this offer again in future, its never easy.

Perky said...

I agree with chikanoz. Couldn't have said it better.