Finally it came to a time when I was so determined to have it all-
And I had it all,
Til I got confused.
I went through an interview as one of the management staff of the most prestigious orchestra in the country.
There's an 80 percent probability that I have already nailed the job.
As much as being excited, half believing that I was there, at the management office, and went through doors and finally having myself sitting at the orchestra box, watching the orchestra rehearsed-
I am now also experiencing doubt, fear, and uncertainty.
Should I just take this job?
Or should I stay as an IT Executive in another prestigious company, working at day and having all my free time after work, to develop myself as a trumpet player?
You might feel weird, how come I am still thinking, instead of just grabbing the chance thrown in front of my face?
Afte all, to have this orchestra management job, I will be really closely related to an orchestra.
But as close as I can get, I fear that I'll just be dealing with the musicians but never will be one of the players. I fear that all my working life will be devoted to manage the orchestra, and I fear that I will be too busy, that I have to give up all my involvement as an actual player in other orchestras.
So near but yet so far.
Hm. Decisions, decisions.