Yes, I am still in the statistics of the more than 20,000 local graduates who are still unemployed.
At times I feel really bad, especially when I am urged to pay the monthly apartment rental, and each week when I had to ask allowance from dad.
There was a point when I stared through the newspaper jobs classifieds, and thinking that I went on and on trying get myself hooked with a permanent nice job. Minutes after that I thought, what was actually my plan to have a great life?
Yeah, like dear dear Z said to me:
I have been talking about amazing things done by the people that I know,
but how about my own self?
My actual plan was to have a decent job during the day, and get out of the office at five, and have my own free time to do lots of things; like:
-do a few laps of butterfly strokes in the pool (just a few, because normally I can't do more than five even)
-hang out with my friends for a dinner, or a movie, or a theatre
-do my passion: practice the trumpet in my apartment, play the trumpet in an orchestra performance, teach the trumpet to my student.
I am greedy. I want to get employed and at the same time I do not want the job to kill the fabulous life that I have.
Now back to me staring through the newspaper jobs classifieds.
My mood suddenly went down again, and I thought how hopeless it is the effort to find a job.
I went to a lot of interviews. I even went to a one whole week training just to discover that it's a foreign exchange company and I had to find clients to get myself promoted.
Absolutely not my type of job.
As I got fed up staring at the newspaper, I decided to practice my trumpet instead.
But the low moods really got me again this time.
I crouched there on my day bed in the hall, with the trumpet mouthpiece, stay still in my mouth.
I was thinking to myself, I don't even cannot play the trumpet well.
I can't even do a living in music because my trumpet playing sucks.
People of my age, or even younger than me, can play the trumpet amazingly.
I just leave the mood hanging there for a minute or two.
It sucks to be this way, but it does need more action from me; more than just sitting there, do nothing and be sad.
I decided to just continue the days keeping on going for interviews to get myself a job.
Of course someday I will get one. Definitely.
It was a hard moment, me crouching; with the trumpet stuck in my mouth.
And then I finally started playing it again.