to judge or being judged

Have you ever experienced wanting so much to share some stories to the important people around you, but you hesitated and even kept the stories inside you and never tell?

That's what happened to me but it's actually nobody's fault.
I have a close friend and we shared a lot of stuff, but sometimes I get stuck to share certain stuff openly because of the reasons that I created on my own.

My friend is a creative, spontaneous and confident when he speaks.
Sometimes I put myself in a place where I am having less advantage than him,
and although he already knows every inch of me, I shy away and won't talk about certain stuff openly to him.

I labeled him as someone being judgmental by the way he react when he thinks differently to a certain idea that I have, regardless that actually both ideas are actually aiming towards the same goal.

Instead of listening to his suggestions and word of advice with an open perception, I am stuck to the label that I quietly gave him, which results to me seeing that anything that's coming from him as something which is judgmental.

So one evening I took the courage to admit to my friend that I was being inauthentic, not being that open to him as a result of the label that I myself created onto him.

And the ironic thing is, I now realized that it was not him being judgmental, it was me.


How funny is that?

Once I have myself being responsible in order to have a true relationship with a friend, I have lifted up whatever that stood between me and a friend.

And I take on having this friend as a good example for me to be as creative, as spontaneous and powerful as him.


Bibik Nyonya said...

Everyone one comes with bagages. Good and bad. That makes a person whole. That friend of yours...he's not all as powerful as you may think. You'll never know what turmoil lies beneath calm waters.

Personally, i feel how you take things and handle it matters most. And you my pren...are definitely in control of yourself. You're in good hands.

So you got nothing to worry abt lah!

::airswift:: said...

i like the sentence: "you're in good hands".

i am so glad that i have everybody supporting me everywhere.

it's like being a small child, lifted by a thousand hands, passed from one to another, until i reach the top of the hill where my dream is.