feeling blue

Allow me to lament.

Sometimes human beings act so strange. At one moment they were so sweet, and the next moment they were cold as ice.

I got to know this guy for a month or so, but I didn’t really have the interest with him.

Firstly, he is not a Chinese (that’s just my preference), and he is a bit on the chubby side.

I have to admit that he is NOT that bad though, because he reminds me of a Malay celebrity.

A few times he gave the signal that he likes me. He also showed that he was upset when I didn’t really responded to him. For example, he was angry because I didn’t return his calls when I was busy getting along with the relatives during Idulfitr, and I apologized and comforted him after that.

Recently, on Sunday night, we went out for a casual dinner at Burger King.

The conversation went really well, and in my mind said, hey, this guy is not bad.
We even talked about having photography outings together, and travel together.

My being switched. I started to look forward to the next step.
Then we had to leave, because his friend had to meet him later at his house to send some stuff.

The next morning, we exchanged sms. In a jokingly manner, as usual.

Good morning!
Morning.. Ha ha I am having breakfast now.
Wah, same as me, you copycat.
Ha ha WHO copies WHO?
Hey, thanks for the dinner last night, if only you were with me the whole night, too bad you got scandal coming to your house.

After my last sms, there was no response from him at all.
I’ve tried to said sorry if I went over the limit, but still he was being silent.

Tried calling him so many times, and the last time he picked up, he said he was busy and he will call me back.

Which he didn’t.

It’s very strange that once I’ve started giving good response to him, he suddenly became quiet.

It’s very strange that although I barely know this guy, the moment I’ve started falling for him, it is still a stab to the heart when I get nothing back from him.

I waited for three days for a call or message, and each day was painful to me,
because I didn't know what would be the best action for me to take.

Is he already over with me?
Is he really that busy?
Is he into me or not?

I stayed in bed the whole Saturday, and decided that it’s time to move on.
There’s no use hoping too much on this, and I have to be generous and kind.
It his choice to decide that actually I don’t suit him.

And yesterday night, I had a nice date with a new guy.

And he is Chinese.

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