trying to put it into words

Istana Budaya.


This is one of the best concerts that I performed so far.

What’s interesting about this show is that each and every detail of it was taken care of, and when all of it is assembled together- it gives an exhilarating experience.

We were given the chance to focus in improving our music, and we were treated really well.

I love it when the tickets are sold properly, printed as equal as the other standard production tickets of the theater house.

I love it when rehearsals are done strategically, and for the last few days we were given coupons to get any food that we want from the café.

It gave me chills when I entered the actual hall for the final rehearsal-

Facing the audience seats,
Dim lights showering us,
An elegant design of the hall that I’ve always accustomed to see as a concert goer-
but this time in the perspective of a performer, standing onstage.



Breathtaking.


It’s somehow similar to what I’ve ever dreamt of in my imagination.
It’s so surreal.


These are few pictures I took on the big day.


Lower brass warming up, before the show.



Flautists preparing.



Felt like a star when I entered from backstage, just after the dressing room.



And then it was the time of the performance.
I love it when the orchestra is able to produce good sound-

-good pitch, well balanced volume between the winds and the strings,
-extremely emphasized dynamics- it ranges from the softest whisper of the strings, to the loudest bang of the timpani.
-expression is put deep into the music, all of us could feel the emotions in it- be it sorrow of the solemn parts or the grandeur feeling of the maestoso.


Two musicians and a mineral water bottle- backstage.



This concert, I’ve created a record by inviting my relatives to the concert.
They came, and I was overwhelmed.
They all enjoyed the concert very much,
And they were astounded that these young musicians could produce such excellent music.
For most of my relatives, that was the first time they watched me performed.
It’s felt like this declaration- this is who I am, this is what I do in life.

This is not the end of it.
I have a long journey to go.
Like we all say- the sky is the limit.
I am looking forward for more.

isn't it wonderful?

Walking out of the building lobby after another refreshing rehearsal (yeah, sometimes they feel so refreshing, like after I do a good swim or a workout), I realized how fortunate I am to be able to live up to my possibility as a first class trumpet player.

I admit that I’ve slipped a few times, I sat in the comfort zone often, and sometimes yeah progress is slow and all humanity would doubt about my actions.

But all those became insignificant as I looked up at the lobby, really realizing that here I am- warming up my trumpet with the fellow young musicians, in one of the prestigious buildings.

Thousands of people out there would want to be here.

I am happy, and I look forward to do more.

Do come to the concert.

you are invited!

Istana Budaya Youth Orchestra concert.

Venue: Istana Budaya (National Theater), Jalan Tun Razak, KL.
Date: 26th April 2008, Saturday, 8.30pm.

Songs:

Finlandia (Sibelius)
Unfinished Symphony (Schubert)
Fifth Symphony (Beethoven)

Tickets sold at RM10 each.

fun in spelling.

He who wears this will smell like the Phantom of the Opera.


Only Mr Sile will take off his shoes here.

freedomland

Watched this movie on Astro cable TV.

A story of a white lady, in despair, having her child stolen away from her in an African American neighborhood.

A very dense movie, touching me at the core, made me think of life.

The strong message given-

Sometimes we, humans, chase for the things in life that deteriorate us without knowing it- be it fame, or that false happiness, or another adventure, or a fairy tale love life- and at that moment we forgot about the happiness that we already have.

And it’s really sad when sometimes a tragic moment had to happen and then we realized that we lose everything.

However, as what is depicted in the ending of the movie, it’s okay if we fall down- we can start all over again. It's hard. It's hard. But we can if we want.

okay, i'll read the manual

After only two weeks at my new job, I started to have a certain judgment on my work environment and the people in it.

I started to have labels in the relationship between me and my direct superior.
I see myself as a new staff who wants to learn a lot in order to contribute, but I get triggered when each time I get a certain way of response from my boss.

“Have you read the manual?”
“Read the instructions.”
“Find the directory yourself.”

I felt uncomfortable and disappointed.
I make it mean that each time I do a task, it’s not good enough.
I have no inner peace and going to work start to feel like surviving life.
This is all triggered by my little voice making it mean that I am not qualified, not competent and not good for the post.

All of these meanings are created by me and I can actually choose to recreate according to a different context. My boss is just being the way she is, it doesn’t mean that she’s degrading me!

I expect life to be polite and pleasing. And I created my own standards of what is the definition of being polite and pleasing.

Get real! Now, I can choose to give up the crap and continue learning, improving my knowledge and get experience, in the aspects of my technical skills and also my way of dealing all sorts of people- even the most difficult ones.

Now I can view my boss as someone who is giving me the good push for me to learn things quick and be as skillful as the rest. Furthermore, I can be in her shoes and see that she is having a lot of job schedules to execute. Of course she will always be in stress.

Accept her the way she is. The way she gives me drive for my direction, and willing to communicate even though that she’s busy all the time.

Take the challenge, be proactive, and at peace.
There’s a possibility of being compassionate and sincere, in my career life.

angry, hungry, mak hangin ni.

“Don't become angry. Don’t become angry.”

“Don’t become angry. When one of you gets angry while he is standing up, he should sit down. Then anger will leave him, and if not then he should lie down."

That’s what the Prophet said when a man asked for a good advice.


When we are in a situation that tick us off,
Anger may lead to silly or regrettable actions. It might also cost our dignity.
The trick is to calm our anger FIRST, before we take any action.
Then we can think rationally, control our ego, and see things beyond our emotions.

But, yeah, calming the anger- that’s the tricky part.

the excitement!

Location: My Apartment.
Time: After work, at night.




Can’t wait to open the box.

I never got one since I was small.

They always advertise it on TV,

And I am so lucky that my group got third place during the family day games.

There! I've opened it!








Ding Dang, dengan permainan kereta lumba.

the shortest distance is a straight line

Breaking my barrier on communicating has given me a new access of relating to people. I now believe that I can actually approach anyone if I want to.

I’ve always got this perception on straight guys, and I sometimes get really cautious since I know that me and them- we’re totally coming from different worlds.

Only that when I stop judging them for what they are, I see that they are actually really cool people to get along with.

We’ve always gave them labels right on their foreheads that they are not fashionable, and not pleasing to the eye. When actually, there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, at some point, this trait of being simple, practical and no nonsense is what makes them easy to talk with especially when it's serious business. They get even nicer to be with when they turn 25, matured and really sensible.

What happened on my second and third day at work really made me salute the straight blokes in town.

On the second day, just when I reached the parking area at my office, suddenly my bike engine leaked terribly. There was a pool of petrol, and I had to close one of its main petrol pipe. My whole shirt smells like gasoline.

In that panic, the men from the admin section were willing to accompany me, drove the company’s Pajero, lifted my bike on the jeep, and we brought it all the way to a workshop, at the neighboring town.

On the third day, after five, the heavy rain had just stopped. Water had entered my engine and I couldn’t kick start it at all, even though I tried kicking for the hundredth time.

I was in the imagination of how to camp at this place which is an hour away from Damansara, when suddenly those straight bike riders walked towards me and helped.

They kicked started it, failed. They took a screw driver and did something to my engine- water and petrol came out. And then the engine could start.

I did not even lift a finger.

These people are so helpful. They don’t even raise their eyebrows and judge you.
They’re great.

no more hanky panky

Life, on the fast track, is accelerating with speed.

Journey to my new office is now longer.
New job demands me to wake up a lot earlier.
Time segregated for my practicing is getting tighter.
Age number adds to another year.
Wrinkles start to appear, and tummy size seems so easy to go one size bigger.

New strategy is roughly laid out-

Priority is given to focus on my self development.
All nights are focused on practice, swimming, and less eating.
Full force will be given on grabbing three upcoming performances.

Time is running out- can’t waste it with hanging out every night.

good to ponder

I stumbled upon these quotes from two very prominent men.

'One should not talk about the defects of others even if one is asked about them. One must try to avoid prying and asking personal questions about the private lives of others" [Al Ghazali, Kitab Adab pp 242-43]

"When you hear something from or about your brother, ascribe to it the best interpretation until you can no longer do so" [Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal]

Easier said than done, because bad habits die hard.
Easier to tell people to do, then doing it on your own.

But if we try doing it most of the time, we’ll have more peace, less conflicts, and less bad perceptions onto the others.

Let’s take on doing it.

mothers

First thing in the morning today, mom called me and sang Happy Birthday for me :)

Anyway. Something I got from the email-

4 YEARS OF AGE My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE Wish I could talk it over with Mom. . .

Call your mom and say hi when you have the time :)