here goes nothing

Am I losing it?

Last Friday and Saturday, were two difficult days for me.

Due to unavoided circumstances, I missed both of my orchestra nights.
My bike brokedown on Friday evening, and my friend was late to send me to the National Theater do to bad traffic. Rushed and rushed, but managed to arrive during the last song.

On the next day, I was stranded at the workshop from 9 in the morning.
My bike needed a major overhaul, the repair was only done at 8pm.

The orchestra still have another first trumpeter, so no worries on their side.

By then, I sent a few phone sms to my orchestra mates who were already onstage.
"I couldn't make it. Play your best and make me proud".


Til now I am shoved in between moods.

Honestly, writing this down is also a challenge for me.

Couldn't find that door to see what's the silver lining hidden underneath,
or maybe I am just mingling around in my own drama of huge upset.
It's just a simple step but it takes courage to give up all the negativity
and in the end I know that it'll be no good staying this way.

Ya.
It doesn't mean that I am a failure.
It doesn't mean that I have lost my skill, passion and dignity.
It doesn't mean that I screwed up my life.
Perhaps I am judging myself more than anyone else saying about me.

Let's take a small step by appreciating the chances that I've managed to grab instead.

For these few months, I am grateful that I was given the opportunity
to be in weekly rehearsals- and that combined with my private lessons with my tutor;
I've come out as a confident trumpet player, with a strong tone and projection.

"Your tone has improved. Now play as a trumpet leader," my tutor said.

For these few months, I am proud that I've been the only one trumpet player attending all rehearsals, giving guidance to the orchestra. My presence have given a difference in each orchestral practice.


I can give myself a pat in the back, looking back at my contribution as a member of the orchestra, involving in shows during the visit to the center of disabled people, and performing in the live TV telecast. I have supported the team in anyway that I can.

It's just that it was meant to be that my contribution ends there- only for this season.

So these are the moments captured, for the few weeks before the concert.


Standby to perform on TV!


A short briefing after the telecast.


The tv host.



An actress.



One actor.


Some players from the orchestra.


Full dress rehearsal.


The team.

the posters are up

Come, let's watch us play some music this Friday / Saturday night.

29th and 30th August,
8.30 PM.

Istana Budaya, main hall.

a full sunday

Sunday was a fun, long day.
I went to Istana Budaya to join the rest of the youth orchestra for another outing event.
I vaguely have any idea what we going to do that day.

ACTIVITY ONE - PROMOTION

We all went aboard the nice huge bus, and we were off to the famous Restoran Jejantas – the overhead bridge which has a few restaurants in it- on top of the North/South Expressway.

Putting up banners of the orchestra, we started basking!

First, my friend picked up his saxophone and played solo.
I just tossed away my doubts on what people might think of us,
Picked up my trumpet and joined him.
And one flautist joined in too!

How do I feel about? It wasn’t that bad. At least I can get more comfortable and close with my own instrument whenever I get the chance to play in public.

ACTIVITY TWO - AWARENESS

Next destination is the home for the disabled in.
The residents, aged from small babies to old adults,
Varied by all sorts.

I admit that it was such a strange experience for me.
Entering the gates, one man suddenly approached me and shook hand with me,
Putting his arms on my shoulder like old friends.

The adults inside the hall are loud,
And when we started to perform for them on the stage,
Some of them went up the stage and danced and shouted.
It really showed that they enjoyed our presence.

They appear to be normal adults, but they were born with a stunted mind growth of a five year old. Some appear to be aggressive, but actually they were just playing around like a child.

The girls of the orchestra were quite freaked out and they stayed outside. I get how they felt, because initially I myself didn’t know how to react, because this is my first time.

Before we leave, we entered the dormitory where the weaker ones lied down on their beds. I saw children having their body in an awkward posture, some also tried to pull us to get attention.

But this one cute Chinese boy, sleeping soundly, caught my attention. From far you might think that he’s just like any average boy.

Until I saw that on his left head, there’s a huge slant, as if his left side of the brain has been cut off. We all assumed that he was born with an abnormal growth on his head and doctors had to do something about it.

But the reality is, he was actually a normal child. Parents had an ugly argument, and he was literally lifted and thrown, and there was internal bleeding in his brains.

I hoped that the trainer would say that this boy would have the chance to recover-

But no, it is the fact now that he is bed-ridden,
as the result of what his parents did.
It has been five years that he stayed here.

I touched his small fingers softly, my eyes watery, and I gave him a silent prayer.

May we all learn something meaningful from this.

ACTIVITY THREE – APPRECIATING NATURE

It’s kinda weird, but it’s really cool-

Initially in the afternoon it was scorching hot and we sweat until we stink.
And then we jumped into the chilly waterfall,
climbed up when it’s about to rain,
And we arrived at the hot springs, just when the rain stopped.
Ah, it was so relaxing to lie down in the warm water, when the surrounding out there is cold.

Talk about good timing.
Having said that, we returned to KL in the evening, and I arrived home just in time for the closing ceremony of Beijing Olympics 2008.

My Sunday was so filled up with fun activities.
How about yours?

orchestra performance for august!!

Ah, another concert is coming up soon.
It’s so exciting for me whenever I get to grab the chance to perform.

The National Theater (Istana Budaya) Youth Orchestra is having a concert for two nights for this month, as a celebration of our nation’s Independence Day.

So if you cannot come on Friday, there’s a Saturday. Or the other way round.
Do spare your weekend night in Kuala Lumpur to enjoy the concert.

The highlighted songs that the orchestra is going to play:

Violin concerto No. 2 by Henri Weniawski
(I tell you, the solo violin is a high school girl and she’s superb!)

In a Persian Market by Ketelbey (simple, cute piece)
Just like the title, this song pictures a princess traveling through the dessert, entering the Persian market, and leaves.

Night on Bare Mountain by Mussorgsky (very Russian, very dynamic)
This piece is about a story of wicked witches doing their potions and spells on top of a bare mountain. At the end of the piece, the song goes very solemn, resembling church bells at dawn, the witches wailed and cried as they had to leave as the morning sun comes up for the new day.

Oh, before I run away, other related info:

Tickets: RM 10 per person
Dates: 29th August, 30th August 2008, 830pm
Venue: Main hall, Istana Budaya, Jalan Tun Razak.

Click this link below to view the website.

planning to be here

Little by little,
I'm forming my plan to visit this city.
When I'll do it?
Maybe in a few weeks, maybe in a few months.
Can't wait for it to be real! ^_^

self indulgence

All sad things also must come to an end.

I've done a lot of happy-happy things too.



Got myself DKNY.



A nice colleague from purchasing dept,
gave me this nice plant.



Had a bunch of sweet rambutans,
after orchestra rehearsal.



Get to look at those nice miniature buildings at my workplace.
This posh semi-D design is new, have yet being released.



Helped a close friend to buy and arrange this pretty thing.



My dear brother gave me this super power CPU.



Restored my lost wallet, with all the cards in it.



And bought myself a new thing for the apartment too..

emotional

No wonder fans go hysteric, laugh or cry when they watch their favorite football match.

Having the sports channel subscribed to my cable TV this month, I was given a chance to experience myself being an audience.

Yesterday’s match was quite something for me-

China’s Lin Dan is hot, hot, hot.
With that impressive height and super toned body, he has the physical advantage to be a winner. Not only pleasant to the eyes, (LOL), but he can do those smashes like a few times in a few seconds, non-stop.

Another thing that impressed me is the spirit of Lee Chong Wei.

The simple act of kissing that tiny Jalur Gemilang on his jersey-
Gives me the chills of pride and I felt so touched.

And the way he fought,
no matter how frustrating it would be for him,
he still gave the effort til the end.

Made me feel so proud.

He deserved the silver medal,
because he earned each single point in the match.
He did a great job.

I am so amazed by both Lin Dan and Lee Chong Wei.

It was an overwhelming match for me.

nostalgic

A photo of me and grandfather, in London.
Frankly I don't remember any of it, though.
But this is a nice picture.

awareness

A few days there was a ruckus when several lawyers decided to have a public forum, named as “Forum Memeluk Islam”

As what I knew, a few non Moslems were expressing themselves, telling the public about the troubles that they have to face when their family member (especially husbands, or fathers) decided to embrace the faith. Welfare not taken care of, cruelty and abuse, you know, that kind of stuff.

Perhaps it’s true that this kind of forum will give a certain impression towards the religion. Yes, I get the point that certain sensitive issues are not to be discussed out loud, because it might be churned wrongly by the public. Maybe the common average people would come to a conclusion even, that ‘once you’re a Moslem, you’re screwed’.

Maybe that is why certain people go to the unimaginable extremes when they object the forum, commanding it to be stopped immediately.

However. A lesson can be learned out of this whole chaos.

We, as Moslems, especially the authorities of the law and order, can go deeper, look into the root cause of all of this. Injustice leads to another injustice.

There’s nothing wrong with our faith, what’s not quite right is our own self.

For instance;
If action is not taken to the new Moslems to have them aware of their roles in their non Moslem family, then too bad, maybe there is certain truth that ‘once you’re a Moslem, you’re screwed’. Not because of your faith, but because of what you did.

If nothing is done later, then, no point having authorities. Too bad lah. Next time if people pinch us again with another forum, don’t jump up and down anymore.

On the other hand;
It’s just not appropriate for someone who wears the serban,
to say things like “Pigs, go back to China.”
Please take of your serban and give it to someone else.

P/S- Suddenly I thought of certain gays wearing the serban like a neck scarf, wah, so fashionable… NOT.

horror horror (part two)

Well, this one’s not that funny, but the tips are informative.

So.
Last Monday I went to work,
Informed my superiors, and good thing that they understand.

So the Amazing Race begins.

I rushed to JPN to process a replacement of my lost IC.
I gasped.

Tips.
Don’t lose your wallet.
First IC lost, 100 bucks.
The next time, 200 bucks.
The third time, 300 bucks.

Then I rushed all the way to Damansara to replace all my bank cards.

Tips.
Some banks require you to go to the specific branch only.
Bring your bank book, and temporary IC.
Some banks are more strict-
You have to use your bank book to withdraw money til you get your real IC.

After the hassle in a few banks in Damansara, (Damansara Heights, Bandar Sri Damansara, Mutiara Damansara), I rushed to KL.


Arriving at JPJ, I asked on how to get my licence and road tax cards replaced.

Tips.
You need to fill up three forms,
Photocopy your vehicle grant,
Take photos.

In short,
Under the hot sun from 10 am to 4 pm,
I traveled to three cities.

I spent 200 for IC,
60 for bank cards,
40 for license/road tax,
12 for photos.

It’s not the nicest experience, I moaned and I groaned.
It’s a very good lesson- hopefully I don’t have to go through it again.

horror, horror (part one)

080808.
Should be a lucky number right? Just read and see how it hits my jackpot really hard.

I rushed back home, with the true intention of watching the opening of Olympics, life in Beijing. Wah so excited nih.

I switch in between the channels, and all I get was just sound. No pictures.
Yes, sigh, apparently we fairies do not subscribe Sports Channel.
AHHH~
It’s like a dejavu, reminding me when I rushed back home wanting to watch Anugerah Era, and the Astro cable TV already kena potong because we forgot to pay the bills.

So I tried my best to wait patiently, waiting for the national TV to finish it’s seemingly insignificant night news, and then yeah, live telecast from Beijing, half an hour LATE.

The signal was horrible, it felt as if I was watching live TV from Jupiter instead of Beijing. And they really love to put advertisements at the best of times.

Picture this.
Olympics Astro Channel – showing fireworks and extraordinary formation.
RTM – happily showing advertisement marilah makan biskut Marie.

Wah so exciting, I SO want to buy those biscuits now and throw them on my TV.
Eh cannot, I buy my TV so expensive you know, must take care very well.

So I watched just fragments of the opening, and A LOT of advertisements. Decided to go down across the street and surf at the internet café.

I had stomach ache suddenly, so I went to the toilet liao.
I put my wallet on the basin, and I left it liao.
So it got stolen liao.

So now I got the experience of “Oh God, I can’t believe this is happening to me.”
I even got wishful dreams in my sleep; with people returning back my wallet to me.

The weekends were quite gloomy.
Knowing the fact that I couldn’t withdraw any money because all my bank cards were lost together with the wallet, I stayed at home. I even slept at seven in the evening and woke up on Sunday at mid day.

So on Sunday at mid day, I went away from my house, trying to do something so that I won’t get depressed.

But it went opposite of what I expected. I got really bored when I’m outside.

So I gave it a longer thought, and I realized that I’m sort of trying to run away from problems!

Once there is negativity that sparked because of a situation, instead of dealing with it, I tried to cover it up by doing something else to cheer myself up.

So I went back to where I started- my own house.

The offices are only be operating on Monday, so rather than not accepting it,
I just be with the fact that I lost my wallet with all the things in it.

I decided to do nothing,
And indulge the chance of being alone at home.

I calmed myself down,
And it wasn’ t that bad.
At least I've got a nice cosy place to stay. Hm.

(But more challenges to come on Monday~ Ha. Ha. Ha.)

irony

I entered the office toilet to wash my lunch box.
The air is filled with thick cigarette smoke, the smell sticks onto my shirt as if I had just entered a disco club.

Two staffs were having a healthy chit-chat while smoking by the sink.

“My brother is 41 and he has to check his blood pressure every week.”

“Do you go for medical check-ups?”

“Yeah, once a while especially after the festive season. I always check for my sugar level and cholesterol level. Have to really watch out what you eat, and take care of your heart.”

Puff and puff of cigarette smoke.

Irony.

polly pocket

My colleague was repairing a PC behind the sales counter.
I was walking towards him.

Me:
Sir, I would like to buy five houses.

Colleague:
Sure, you take them over there and pay at the counter.
(Pointing at the miniature house sample)

Yeah, we are so lame.

See all these tiny houses.
I like to look at them.
Maybe in future I'll get a 1,400 square feet posh condo. ^_^


The whole district.


Shop lots.


View at night perhaps?


Houses.


Oooh.. that's the entrance.


The whole residence filled with bungalows.

notebook

Occasionally I visit my mom’s house all the way in Ampang.
Basically in my family, there are four boys, and only two girls.
The bigger sister is not in the country often, and the last child of the family is the only girl left.

As I passed by my small sister’s room, I saw this tiny note book hung on the door.

Translated by me in English-

Alya’s Book of Rules.

1) Do not enter my room and make noise about my arrangements inside my room.
2) Do not kick my teddy bears on the floor.
3) Do not use my handphone to sms your friend.
4) One sms is charged two ringgit.
5) When I ask you for the money that you owe me, do not say, “Whatever.”
6) Do not wipe your wet hand on my face.


Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. How naughty brothers can be.