question: price of fame

As I was riding my bike on the way to a dear friend’s cosy apartment in PJ, I had this imagining of how it might be if I were full of fame. Naturally it would seem nice.

My thoughts crossed to the people that I know, so near around me, and they are blood related to famous people. One has a father who did wonders that made Malaysia proud. The other person that I know, has a son who was married with a celebrity. Apart of that, he is cute, so of course he would appear in the newspaper.

The thing is, these people are not really comfortable with the fact that they are related with a famous father or a famous son. They never talked about it until people discovered that fact themselves, and started to question them. They would try their best to deny, or to admit but cut the conversation short.

Why it goes that way? There are so many factors that could make being famous as something not really as nice as it seem to be.

Perhaps they feel that the fame of their relatives is so overpowering, it overshadows them. Like, why must you talk about my relatives instead of talking about me here?

Or perhaps they know more about their famous relative, so they do not really feel nice to talk about that, especially if they have bad experience or relationship with them.

And maybe they are bored with the same kind of conversation related to their famous relative, on and on, for years.

What is my own opinion on fame anyway?

Well, to me, I would love it if I happen to be a member of a well-known institution. Especially when I am a part of the contribution and effort toward gaining the fame and success of the institution. I will of course never be tired of talking about its success and how we went through the obstacles.

And sure I will be proud.

they need help from someone else

I was introduced by a dear friend to teach at this hostel for the pribumi kids.
Not bumiputra, but the native people here.

As I we drove towards the deeper jungle part somewhere in the city,
we passed a few colonial houses,
and a massive new yellow colored bungalow,
just before we reached the old building where the kids live in.

The people who were here are living a simple life.
They had just finished their evening praying session,
and all were clad in baju Melayu and kurung.

We were invited to have a very simple dinner,
rice and chicken and fish too.

As the secondary students were handled by a temporary replacement teacher,
I was passed to teach the primary 1,2 and 3 instead.

My, was I not ready for all of this.

They are really academically poor.

And since the primaries are just kids,
they were playing,
and screaming,
and pulling other kid's hair,
and tickling.


They need someone who is firm,
who as a very strong vision, mind and capability,
to change these children and teens,
from nothing to something,
so that they can survive in this fastest city in the country.

It reminded me of Angelina Jolie going to a third world country.

I am quitting, regardless how noble the job is.

This is not the way I am going to spend my extra time after stress at work in the daytime.
This is not the way I am going to sacrifice my movies, and hanging out with friends.
It tipped of the scale.

So if anyone is interested, to teach for 35bucks per hour, do inform me ya.

it's not that simple

Recently a member of another school orchestra commented on my posting regarding on my review of the SBP band competition.

"If you think that other people's arrangement are so sucky, and you think you are so good, then why don't you write an orchestra piece yourself?"

Apparently I experienced something related to what he said.

I did not literally wrote a music score, but I stayed over at a friend's apartment, just to support him and give him my ideas on how to improve the score which he was assigned to do, and he was actually over the deadline.

I tried to apply the idea embedded in the scores played by some famous anime soundtracks, and also from pieces played by the good Bangkok bands in their recent Asean Band Competition.

It occurred that when my ideas were implied in the piece my friend was trying to write, the arrangement sounded really lame when it was practically test-played by the orchestra.

Despite that we stayed awake for the whole night and never slept at all.

Despite that we listened to a few good existing pieces and tried to use the idea.

Despite that my friend is a skillful music performer and he can use the composition software really well.

Despite that the finished piece is difficult, with high notes and running notes everywhere.

It takes a lot of experience, listening, exposure and observation for one to complete a splendid written music.

Now I know, huh.

typing with my eyes red

Not because I am crying.
But because I am kinda sleep deprived.
However, I really have to get used to this.

This week, I was accepted to go through a training session,
before I am confirmed to be part of the team of a company in PJ.

The company in some unexplainable way has more female than male in its staff population.
What I like about the training session is that I could see a very healthy working environment where they all would sit in groups discussion together, and the people of higher positions are mixing well with the rest of the people in the company, including us, the trainees.

The nature of the business is inclining towards financial consultation, hence I had to learn a lot.

Anyway.
During one discussion, suddenly one of our supervisors asked us where was World Cup being held. Of course I did not answer that and she suspected I hate soccer. Of course I agreed with her.

::BOSS::
So what sports do you play?

::BLONDE-ME::
I swim and I 'gym'.

::BOSS::Oh, he likes all the sports without exposing himself under the sun. He takes care of his skin.

(Everyone giggled)

::BLONDE-ME::
(Blonde trying to be firm)
I swim because I get good cardio exercise, and also practice my muscles
I work out because I want to tone them up.
Soccer is just a waste of time, with risks of injuring and dirtying yourself.
Soccer is so overrated.

::BOSS::
That's something. You go for sports for the benefit that you can get from it.



(Anyway. I actually felt like answering like this instead to offend everybody there.)

::BLONDE-ME::
Uols janganlah kacau mak macam ni.
Mak tak suka sports.
Mak suka drag saja.

(Translation:
You all are just jealous that I am prettier than you all.
I don't like sports. I only like cross-dressing.)

people's behavior

Recently I went to attend my brother's convocation at one of the famous halls in Kuala Lumpur. Going there was easy, but the parking was something to tell about.

All the visitors parking for bike was full even.
Therefore I sneaked at the first floor and parked my bike there, and I saw that there is some more space for other bikes to park at the same place.
Not really a big problem.

But after the graduation ended, as I approached my bike, there was this old guy with uniform walking towards me.

He said,

This parking space is reserved for the staff of *a political party*.
Do not practice this parking habit.
Luckily your tyre was not punctured by the people here.

I looked at the parking space and it was obviously still has a lot of space for the rest for other bikes if they come to park after me. I do not see any reason to fuss about it.

I think all these people are just a bunch of uneducated rude people.

perempuan mimpi

courtesy of thestar.com

It was so worth the ticket that I watched this movie.

I felt like I was given a chance to watch a broadway theatre show.

The whole film really took my breath away.

Nice plot that seemingly real, this is a half fictive half based on true story of the few pioneer Afro Americans who would want to breakthrough the music industry, to be in the top charts among the white people.

The costumes were all really chic and fashionable regardless they are from the past days.

The stage setting is superb, amazingly beautiful.

The coreography is amazing.

And all the songs; really stunning. Either the orchestra or the singer, both sides are really really good.

Please watch this movie.

tidy up your room

My life seems like a big mess lately. It's just the season.

It's as messy as my whole house is right now. It's raining a lot lately, so I had to push the whole damp laundry in, and hang them inside.

The few facts that I was being robbed,
and my computer crashed for real,
and my personal fund is getting so little that it hardly can afford my jobless life no more,
made me feel like my life is in a huge mess.

As messy as my house is.

But therein exist something powerful; the power of to decide what to do next.

I have already decided to plunge myself quietly into misery of all the things that happened upon me.

Regardless that I still act as usual.
Regardless that I will still laugh, take things like they are just, you know, small matter.

But there would always be the occasional deep sigh of mourning and depression because it felt like I don't have any choice but to be sad.

The truth is, all these are just momentary.

Be it a month that I won't be able to purchase a replacement of the precious thing that was stolen from me.

Be it weeks until I can get my crashed computer be repaired.

Be it cluster of days until I get myself employed.


Yeah, my life now is messy.
As messy as my house is.

Soon there will be spring cleaning and everyone will envy my life and my house again.

graduation day

It's the day when the parents would come and gather and watch you proudly as you walk across the stage, recieving the scroll from the Cancelor.

It's the day when everyone will smile as they take pictures, and the whole front yard of the huge hall would be filled with people in their dark blue robes. And there would be balloons. And bouquet of roses. And huge Winnie the Poohs.

Long rows of stalls selling food, toys and souvenirs would be waiting there at the other end to attend the crowd. Even small restaurants would be built up too.

It's the one experience of your life time.

Everyone would not forget the day they wore the graduation robe.

They will take very classy photos of them and their family, with the painting background of a study room, or a library. They will use very expensive frames and hang up the memorable photo at home.

Everything is so nice about graduation day, there won't be a single person that we know who doesn't like this special day.

Actually, that would be me.

I purely hate graduation day.

I see parents who had to go through the hassle.
They had to go through the massive traffic which suddenly emerged because of graduation day.
They had to park their car under the hot sun in the middle of the field.
They had to walk across the field, huff and puff, and entered the hall.
And there they would be waiting for what seem like years until the whole ceremony is done, just to watch their only child to get the scroll.

I see parents who immediately want to go back after the whole show.
Because their younger children got restless after the shocking exposure of the hot sun and the cold hall inside.
Because they themselves could not stand it anymore being in a huge packed crowd.

So much for just to be proud of their graduated child.

And how about the graduates?

I see them wobbling with their huge fugly thick dark robes under the hot sun.
And they will sweat like pigs and try to smile and try to remind themselves that they should be proud of themselves.
I hear the same stories of them having to go to the long rehearsals just to recieve the scroll, and spending at oh-my-goodness ridiculous rates:

Just to rent the ugly stinky robe.
Just to pay for the expensive frames for their photos.
Just to pay at ridiculous hiked price of the photos they develop from the sharks there.

How about the ceremony inside the hall?
It's cooling inside there, and with all the people and the huge robe, it can't be that freezing, right?
I have experienced witnessing convocations for at least three years in my life.
With thousands of students to graduate, it took like ages for them to walk one by one onto the stage to recieve the scroll.

It's a very slow process.

It's very boring and you have no choice but to stay and sit down and wait.
You are not allowed to walk around, or go out and sip a drink.

And even after the ceremony, the whole row of stalls are just a fraud.
They overpriced their cheapskate imitation Winnie the Poohs.
They sell tasteless drinks with a lot of chemical coloring inside.
The snacks they sell also sucks.

The whole thing just make me want to puke.

Graduation day is the day to celebrate the victory of a student's study in a degree.

Applying for my degree was a huge massive mistake in my life.
I suffered too much, and I hated the whole experience.
True, there is no use to regret it, but I don't have any reason to celebrate it either.

Celebrating a huge mistake in life. Nothing can be more hilarious than that.

And to go through the ridiculous expensive robe rental,
And the huff and puff under the hot sun,
And the long waiting in the hall,
Just to celebrate a mistake-

I don't know how to put it in words to describe that.

Therefore, I hate graduation day.

it's the season

A storm is coming into my life.

Very unfortunate events are happening, in a row.

I predict that my journal entries would be full of negativity at the moment.

pictures of a party

Oriental touch
The red wall and bamboo invited us to the house.





Lights and Balloons.
Creating the merry ambience,
on the dining table.





Black and white.
Served after chocolate cake and cheese cake.
And pasta and doughnuts.





Hands.
Of people who sat down on the floor,
catching up stories with their friends.







The eyes.
Staring at you on the buffet table
as you pick your choice of food.

Night night.

The party has ended

and everyone wants to go home.

old story: wind orchestra sbp competition 2006

SBP Wind Orchestra 2006; old story; my spiteful response.
For the new 2008 review, click here.

I got many responses, which are focused on another side or perception of the wind past 2006 competition.

Salute to these people Scherzo028 and Danial 1007, who dared to express their own opinions, by replying to my post.

These people regard me as someone who is biased towards the Alam Shah team, naturally because I am used to be a member and I am still concerned with their issues and such. This is not really accurate, because my review is based to my own demands on what a wind orchestra competition in our country should be, especially when it is deemed as a prestigious one.

If you say that I am a pro-Alam Shah, no, I am more likely a pro-Attawit band or pro-Sengoku Gakuen band. Attawit is a wind orchestra from Bangkok, and Sengoku, is an all-girls team from Japan.

Alam Shah, the team that I give support to, is basically still not to the standards yet, even though they are relatively much much better than other schools who went to the finals in the SBP competition 2006.

This is the comment given by Scherzo026:


btw who care bout that,yg penting he(the instructor)still ajr n give his best to do so...as a comment,SDAR's piece Tanah Pusaka mmg a wrong selection..."What was the instructor thinking?"-taken from the text above..........excuse me,just dat SSAS memang dh ade such a collection of lagu melayu which is almost were frm Suhaimi Yacub,mmg la bley ckp cm tu...sbb cnfrm dh settle 1 prob to choose or find malay piece..so bley la ckp cm tu......btw i heard that sdar n ssp got their piece frm Raymond Kong was l8(a week b4 sbp comp)....can u see how BIG effort they put...as for TKC,bkn xde lagu melayu laen,most of them frm piece Suhaimi Yacub...if byk sgt skol maen piece by Suhaimi Yacub...sure bored!!! n one more thing,lagu Rangkaian Lagu Melayu tuh pon dh berzaman dh,at least lg Fantasia Ulik Mayang tuh was early of 2002 ok!!

Scherzo026



Sherzo026, I could see that you are giving the logical reasons on why SDAR had chosen a wrong selection; Tanah Pusaka, for their Malay piece. If the school would want variety, perhaps the instructor might want to get well-arranged scores by C H Tang, or Eric Lee. Or the school might want to commission the Malay song arranger of the Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra. If I were a pro Alam Shah, I do not need to reveal this actually.

I do not think it’s wise to get songs from the Tanah Pusaka arranger anymore. Regardless that he is a member of National Symphony Orchestra, not only that ALL his songs are badly arranged, his performance himself is too poor for him to be called as a national symphony orchestra player.

My review is based on the final quality being shown during the final competition. I don’t include the degree of effort of each band as a comparison in my review, and I did not even intend to do that at the first place. My review is to show where is the level these bands at, and they are all disappointingly far below par.

When you said about SDAR getting the scores only for 18 months, do I have to consider that when I am writing my review? Absolutely not! I do not care whether it is 18 months or even a day. If I really care about that, I would have mentioned about Alam Shah getting their Suriram score for ONLY THREE DAYS before the competition.

Tanah Pusaka is a bad arrangement. So if you put any effort in playing it, it would still be a bad arrangement.

As for what I have said about Ulik Mayang and the fact that it has been played so many times, you did not get my point actually. I will explain in my reply of the girl below.

This is the comment given by the girl who used Danial1007’s id:



Well.. first and foremost.. I’d like to introduce myself.. I’m one of the TKC band members (in case u’re confused, I’m just using my friend’s username..wtv,aint important). Erm,I just discovered about this blog post and frankly what do I think? VERY honest one indeed. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not hinting or what so ever. It is after all, everybody’s liberty of speech so I seriously don’t mind ;) HOWEVER, there are a few things I’d like to rebut cos I find that I should clarify on some of ur points..hehe.. though this thing was ages ago,I still feel like filling in ur comments. Firstly, regarding all of the skls not being up to par as the international level,well.. blame the government for that; not giving skls enough exposure on music. Though u say that the night was a total embarrassment, u should know, these kyds (fine,I’m one of ‘em).. should really be given credit for the effort. And they really did, at least try their very best. Regarding my skl, I’m being very optimistic with ur opinions.. in fact I accept ‘em all but I disagree on u,for without knowing much (or maybe not knowing a thing) about our band or the history, then simply pointing out: What was the instructor thinking? Let me tell u something; he sure as hell knows what he’s thinking n doing while u,on the other hand, DON’T. so u should really put ur words in better terms next time. And u-huh u call it a joke? Gosh.. any piece of music is never a joke to me regardless what year it is. No offence though.. but really dude, think twice if u’re about to utter something u have NO CLUE about. In this case, what’s happening in each skl’s band or in the minds of the instructors. Wow, SAS is just too good to be true huh?? No wonder u’re making them sound that way. Owh wait, don’t get the wrong picture. I’m not revenging or wtv but the reviews are just sooo.. contrast. yep. But heckk—everyone has their own thots ryte.. so this is mine =p Congrats anyway for being the champs and well done to the alumni as well, I must say I salute the SAS band alumni for their commitment.Lastly, sorry if anything that I said offended u in a way (tho I don’t think it did..wtv, was not even my intention to do so). To anyone else reading this blog, namely other finalists besides SAS; chill la u ppl. Don’t just fire this guy (FYI, I am not!!).. let’s all accept it as a positive criticism to improve our bands =)Peace to the world *winks*

Danial1007




Dear girl;

I am so agree with your explanation that the government could have given more music exposure to schools as an effort of creating a chain effect to give the school bands awareness on what is called as good orchestral performance.

But then again, I don’t think there is much can be done, especially that our VIPs over there were genuinely impressed with just mediocre music performance. It is good to heighten the spirit of these enthusiastic young musicians, but it’s a risk to say that everything is good when actually there is so much rotten stuff which should be get ridden off and there are a lot of things to be improved.

So how about a reversing action instead? It is us who should expose them to a good level of music by improving ourselves and let them see a high quality of orchestral music. From that, perhaps we could get more support by the government.

My review is blatantly written, and it’s the real thing from my thoughts. My focus is more towards what I think of the music quality, take it or leave it. It’s nice for you to say about giving credits to these orchestra members. That is your focus which is different than mine.

As for you defending that the instructor knows what he is thinking, sorry to say, no, he doesn’t know what he is doing. I do not know whether it is more towards the instructor’s lack of experience and exposure, or it is that thing that we call as ‘ego’ which have put the instructor to a mind block of not wanting to improve his knowledge. If I am biased towards Alam Shah, I would not have pointed this out, because I would say that this is one of the competitive secrets of a school orchestra and it’s instructor: the willingness to learn through mistakes and accepting people’s ideas.

Forgive me because of my words on ‘Ulik Mayang and it’s year’ which have been misleading some people. What I meant is, Ulik Mayang is a bad amateur written piece but it is still been played by the same school over and over again. I was hoping that through years that have passed, better songs would be selected, but yet it happened again.

Ulik Mayang IS A JOKE, no doubt of it. Horrendously written, a typical arrangement with bad movement and flow, bad chords, and narrowly sounded. One of the very strong point for the team to be a good orchestra; is by playing good songs.

As for what you said about Alam Shah, yeah, they are still in luck in 2006. Victory is just based on them relatively being better than other schools. But they could not compete with bands like Attawit and Sengoku band. They still need to strive out of the “too good to be true” level.

My comments are frank.
If the band is good; it is good.
If the band is average, it is average.
If the band is horrible, then it is horrible.

Alam Shah had its famous downs also, like the cackling chicken sound of the trumpets which failed the introduction for Inspiration Point.

My school is in good terms with Tun Fatimah.
I have very, very, very good friends from Tunku Kurshiah and Seri Puteri.
It is less likely that I am on any side at all.

Therefore my comments are not biased, they are just blunt.
You can indulge with it positively, or you can leave it with a hurtful heart.

paranormal

I heard that people say, supernatural stuff is common in Indonesia.


There is one desserted old hotel in front of the smaller hotel that we stayed at while were in Palembang.
This huge desserted hotel stopped its operation two years ago after the whole building caught fire. The fire was ignited by a short circuit happened at the ground floor.
Unfortunatedly, one person who slept at the top floor died because of the incident.


I took one picture of the hotel at night with my digital camera.






I checked the photo. It was clear, and the hotel looked esthetically eerie.
I took another photo, just in case the first one wouldn’t look nice after I transfer it in my PC.

It is said by paranormal experts that these white globular marks are signs of supernatural presence.

That’s the first time I saw so many of it in just one photo.

My theory is, perhaps it’s the fact that such a huge building being left for two years untouched, that attracted the unknowns to be the new residents in it.

Wow.

pictures with stories

The girl with a lot of potential in her, has already went to another stage in her life.

We all went to the airport to support her during her departure to fly overseas.

She is now somewhere out there, undergoing a crash course to discover the newest technology available in information technology.

She will make everyone proud.

Be cautious whenever you want to dine in this one particular shop at the lower level of Ikano shopping mall.

I went to this restaurant, and I choose to try one dish from it’s menu.

Baked potato skin, stuffed with minced meat and cheese sauce.
Sounds mouthwatering, eh?

What I got is burnt potato with over cooked meat and I guess the cheese evaporated before it arrived on my table.

The waiter mentioned that it is ‘not burnt’. It is supposed to be cooked and eaten that way.

Yeah, right. It’s hardly edible.

One fine weekend I rode my bike towards Subang, Z’s neighborhood.

Had a good time eating together and then I saw a stall selling crystal salt lamps.

It is said that these lamps would ionize and clean the air in your home.

I have always wanted one, but hesitated since it’s normal price range is 60 bucks.

But since it’s getting to be a common house décor item, you can get a small one at 25 bucks.

Yeah, I bought one in Subang. It’s pretty, and it adds the orangey soothing orange ambience too.

These are the small ornamental flowers that goes together with the bouquet of twelve red roses that Z gave to me, last Valentine’s Day.

As the whole bouquet lost its freshness, I separated them all and put these small lasting pretty flowers in my room.

This scenery was taken around fifteen minutes after my flight took off, leaving Palembang.

I suppose those bunch of islands belong to Indonesia.

This is Aaron Hoshi. It is estimated to be at least three years old.

Last time I used shreds of tree bark on the tank floor, and a rock shaped dish for its food.
I changed to a new floor bedding and also a bright green dish to give the tank a fresh look.

This is my dad’s watch. It’s a good replica of the real expensive one.
He bought it at Kuala Lumpur’s China Town.

Underneath the watch is an LV wallet my dear friend gave me.