Guys, today I am posting some serious stuff.
My blonde hair turn red like a librarian girl today.
So please just read the highlighted ones if you prefer to be blonde today.
Hik.
Once, my lecturer friend told me about his experience of being interviewed. He was asked with this very interesting question:
“What do you think of the recent opinion that fresh graduates from public universities are having no quality, and couldn’t cope with the working environment?”
I have been listening to this cliché issue for a few times.
I think the more appropriate question is that:
“What do you think of the recent opinion that public universities, compared to private education institutions, are now backdated, and not relevant to produce good graduates?”
Generally I have had this view that private education is only for those who have no choice, not qualified and unable to go to the public universities. This was quite true back in the eighties but after twenty years passed, things have changed and improved.
Today, private institutions would be the first choice for students to obtain their higher education. The number of students in private institutions outnumbered the students in public universities, not just because “they don’t have choice”, but because of their own preference.
Private institutions have better medium of instruction, and the education syllabus is more recognized and suitable for the current demand, not only locally, but also overseas.
Employers would often question why graduates from public universities cannot perform quick enough compared to those from private institutions. The academic staff would suggest that students should always be totally independent to gain knowledge in their study years, but by such assumption, more than half of the students would be left out. Of course a large number would still gain “passes”, but the question is, how relevant is the knowledge and experienced collected through the academic process, compared to what is demanded in the current world?
Without sufficient guidance, encouragement and not to mention the syllabus which remains to that of the pass few years, it doesn’t help much to produce good graduates.
True that it’s up to the initiative to the students to learn. However, the public institutions can choose to take the role of nurturing the students’ interest towards the respective industry of the course that they are studying. By this, they can have the will to practice a habit of proactively getting involved in any event that is relevant to their certificate.
Talks and discussions, group outdoor activities, workshops and researches, and extra courses are suggestions to help the students to be aware with all the current issues and skills regarding to their field. These extra but relevant activities can be rigorously encouraged by the public universities as a requirement before they can be given with academic certificate.
And of course, assessment should be done on the syllabus of public universities, whether or not they are relevant to the current world. The syllabus is still focusing too much on the foundation basics, and some are not really significant for a student to graduate and perform in their career life. The recent technologies of today’s world, if included in the syllabus, could make it more useful for the students to excel after they own their certificates.
Public institutions should be aware that they have to keep up with the trend, if they would want to gain trustworthy excellence compared to what has now being offered by the private institutions.
Notes:
::Today, there are 16 private universities, 17 private university college, 15 local university campus, 4 foreign university campus, and 490 private colleges.
::490 private colleges varies from small college which have only 100 students and practice only one accounting course, or a very huge medical college which have 3000 students and offers not less than ten different disciplines for diploma certificate.
::Malaysian Qualification Framework 2007-
Introduced to regulate the syllabus of both of public and private education institutions, so as to maintain the balance of quality of both institutions.
::The term “certificates recognized by JPA” doesn’t mean that the certificates not recognized by JPA is not good. It means that either that these graduates are either over qualified or having different qualifications not demanded by JPA.
The Play for P Ramlee
Said shortly in three words:
Fabulous. Fabulous. Fabulous.
I don’t know whether I am biased, but I certainly enjoyed watching this whole performance.
Of course the thing that triggered me to buy the ticket for this show was the existence of my favorite artiste, Siti Nurhaliza, as I really wanted to watch her sing live, in a musical show, singing something different.
Watching her perform that night, I was not disappointed.
Despite of her acting which needed a lot of practice to transform the character of Siti Nurhaliza to the actual character in the show, I salute the creative brains who assigned her to do the role Azizah- a polite reserved girl who stood on staying with her family and not following P Ramlee to Singapore- even though she had to accept not able to see him again except in the movies.
And when she sang, it took my breath away.
Don’t really take this from me as I am a huge fan of her-
Of course it’s undoubted that she is a songbird, but perhaps you would still be breathing normally anyway.
Pardon my obsession- let’s get to the whole show already.
The starting scene of the show was a good one- it invites us to see how this legend felt during his later years.
Scene was transformed quickly to his early days as a young boy, where it all begin.
Most songs are newly written by Dick Lee and Erwin Gutawa, and I am so pleased to get to listen to the orchestral arrangement of Erwin Gutawa again. It would be exciting if the symphony arrangers around our region could be at par or even better than this great arranger. Healthy competition would definitely give a good impact in heightening the quality of the music industry.
Some arrangements weren’t being heard of before,
And some do have the melody tune of the songs of the late legend.
And there are a few which are clearly fresh re-arrangements of P Ramlee’s songs.
Whatever it is, eighty percent of the songs are superb.
With strong lower brass like the bass trombone and the tuba,
And the sharp quick notes of the piccolo,
And the impressive notation of the trumpets,
And also the strong support from the strings and the horns.
Songs varies from the style of the fifties and sixties,
And rich traditional arrangement for a few,
And also strong western ballad Broadway for the prominent ones.
The stage props and sets were amazing.
They clearly were one of the significant factors that gave life to all the different scenes.
They range from simplicity to the very huge ones.
Huge classic shophouses in Penang.
Trees in a park in the evening.
The building of the film studio.
Arrangement of chairs in a cinema.
Retro convertible car.
The huge fabulous hotel with yellow lights where they dance during a party dinner.
The elegance of a red carpet entrance.
The huge train with smoke coming out, and the Tanjong Pagar Station.
The classic setting of the living room, with an upright piano at the side.
And they have really fully utilized the technology offered by the Istana Budaya Theatre House- with all these huge sets effortlessly shifted front and behind, above and below.
Shocking.
And how about the cast?
Liza Hanim was really good in bringing up the character of Saloma. Her vocal was really amazing, and she did really well. Her being was caring, funny, beautiful.
Melissa Saila really was good for Norizan. She gave the audience a chance to see who is the person behind the name; she was outstanding, responsible in bringing up fame and order for P Ramlee during his early years in the limelight.
And Sean Ghazi was just perfect for the hero character. It was clever of him to sing most songs in his own way, and leave to have only a few songs to be sung the way P Ramlee did. P Ramlee was really being himself.
The whole cast did a good job. From the hawker to the unknown person walking in the park. From the director of P Ramlee movies to the small children in the scene when he was a child. All of them were good.
This performance uniqueness is by the approach and intention.
It was trying to tell how did the legend went through his life of glory and fame,
And it was delivered perfectly to all of us.
It also brought us to know about the people that he loved, who were important in shaping his life.
The show ended with the same scene given as the introduction of the musical.
Simple but effective- it tells us one thing-
Like us, he went through life,
With the love, and sorrow,
The excitement, and the loneliness.
He went through it all.
P Ramlee is a legend, and not really different than us, he’s human.
So again I would say,
Fabulous. Fabulous. Fabulous.
to be in it or just get off it
Boy, was I really hooked up with my work these few days. I did not even write anything after work, since I chose to do things like go swimming, practice my trumpet, teach my trumpet student, having dinner with friends; or just take a nap.
Written shortly of the ‘significant’ experiences that I’ve got this week-
I was totally dwelling in my own nonsense, where I just leave my aimless noise inside my head controlling my career life, as it bitches about everything and everyone in the college.
To the extent that I even can get annoyed and feel left out when one of the VIPs here went and greet my colleague and asked his help instead of ME.
Nonsense, right? I told you so.
I’ve totally thwarted my Charter of Life, not spreading the peace to everyone that I am connected with- my inner voice was so all about myself.
My inner voice- it assured me to hate the staff and students, all in one.
I can say that I was being prejudice, discriminative and perhaps, yeah, racist.
Perhaps it’s the small things that I don’t share which made me just follow and get carried away with the nonsense in my head.
So now I’m sharing it here.
The students- regardless of how intellectually challenged they might be, despite of how morally questionable they can be, they would still be a contribution to the society in many levels that they would be.
I can choose to continue to be rigid, stuck and awkward;
But I can choose to be resourceful and respectful,
And act like how an IT Executive should be.
It doesn’t matter how people think or say about me,
What matters is that I can always choose
to be responsible in controlling all situations at the first place.
When both parties are feeling uncomfortable between each other, it takes just one side to initiate a good communication and a healthy environment.
By being concerned on the welfare of others,
That’s when you’ll naturally give up being uncomfortable of yourself
And you won’t have the time to care about the less significant stuff.
So what is my first step now?
Just focus on doing the work, and shed off my nonsense away.
After all, they are just nonsense, they don’t mean anything.
I am still as powerful as how I want to be, and always will be.
this meme is less blonde.
This is the meme where we complete the sentences.
1. I've come to realise that my last kiss was the one that dear dear Z will always like. And it won't be the last.
2. I am listening to arrangements which suit my definition of quality, whether it's pop or classical, whether it's light or orchestral, whether it's Malaysian, Indonesian, Bangkokish (huh?), Japanese, Chinese or Ang Moh.
3. I talk everytime I feel like talking, but now I really want to practice talking with intention to make a difference.
4. I love my life. It's literally great with all the things that it offers me- the goodships and the hardships. And also the fish and chips. (huh?)
5. My best friends are varied from different clusters and I appreciate their differences.
6. My car is my feet, my bike, and the cars that belong to my friends. I'm a lucky bitch.
7. My love life is the life that I love, and dear dear Z. And my family and friends.
8. I hate it when people ask where I am going to for raya. Well, not that I really hate it, but I'm responsible of not having an answer for that. Anyway, I guess the correct answer would be Taiping because mom goes there each year.
9. Love is the peace felt when dear dear Z bear with me being carried away with my nonsense, and standing on beside me even when I have my weaknesses.
10. Marriage is the beauty captured in photos on the dais or at the end of the isle, and during the feast.
11. Somewhere, someone is thinking on how to move a step further in going to reach their dreams in life.
12. I'm always full of rackets in my mind- but there's always a chance to honor their presence and still do the wise decisions anyway.
13. I have a secret cheesy crush on dear dear Z- but it's an open secret already. I have a crush on Uttsada too. Ops.
14. My cell phone is cool- it has the best audio system ever, with BOOMING bass in the tiny earbuds. It is where my life's soundtrack is- Nakashima Mika, Hirai Ken, Siti Nurhaliza, Anuar Zain, and a huge bunch of wind symphonies.
15. When I wake up in the morning, that would be after the phone alarm rings Agnes Monica.
16. When I go to bed at night, I indulge the softness and thickness of my quilt cover, and three pillows.
17. Right now I am thinking about my bed. After all it's already two am.
18. Babies are cute angels and cute demons at the same time. They are adorable nevertheless.
19. I get on MySpace whenever I am feeling like a fame whore.
20. Today I watch small parts of Konsert 3 Diva at Ria. The parts that I din manage to watch was due to the heavy rain.
21. Tonight I will really have a nice time sleeping on my bed. Everybody envies the comfort it has to offer.
22. Tomorrow I will see if my ulcer gets better. I will drink more water. I need to practice my trumpet, can't really do that with injured lips.
23. I really want to go the furthest with my trumpet.
24. Someone that will most likely repost this is someone who like to talk about life. At least his or her own life.
1. I've come to realise that my last kiss was the one that dear dear Z will always like. And it won't be the last.
2. I am listening to arrangements which suit my definition of quality, whether it's pop or classical, whether it's light or orchestral, whether it's Malaysian, Indonesian, Bangkokish (huh?), Japanese, Chinese or Ang Moh.
3. I talk everytime I feel like talking, but now I really want to practice talking with intention to make a difference.
4. I love my life. It's literally great with all the things that it offers me- the goodships and the hardships. And also the fish and chips. (huh?)
5. My best friends are varied from different clusters and I appreciate their differences.
6. My car is my feet, my bike, and the cars that belong to my friends. I'm a lucky bitch.
7. My love life is the life that I love, and dear dear Z. And my family and friends.
8. I hate it when people ask where I am going to for raya. Well, not that I really hate it, but I'm responsible of not having an answer for that. Anyway, I guess the correct answer would be Taiping because mom goes there each year.
9. Love is the peace felt when dear dear Z bear with me being carried away with my nonsense, and standing on beside me even when I have my weaknesses.
10. Marriage is the beauty captured in photos on the dais or at the end of the isle, and during the feast.
11. Somewhere, someone is thinking on how to move a step further in going to reach their dreams in life.
12. I'm always full of rackets in my mind- but there's always a chance to honor their presence and still do the wise decisions anyway.
13. I have a secret cheesy crush on dear dear Z- but it's an open secret already. I have a crush on Uttsada too. Ops.
14. My cell phone is cool- it has the best audio system ever, with BOOMING bass in the tiny earbuds. It is where my life's soundtrack is- Nakashima Mika, Hirai Ken, Siti Nurhaliza, Anuar Zain, and a huge bunch of wind symphonies.
15. When I wake up in the morning, that would be after the phone alarm rings Agnes Monica.
16. When I go to bed at night, I indulge the softness and thickness of my quilt cover, and three pillows.
17. Right now I am thinking about my bed. After all it's already two am.
18. Babies are cute angels and cute demons at the same time. They are adorable nevertheless.
19. I get on MySpace whenever I am feeling like a fame whore.
20. Today I watch small parts of Konsert 3 Diva at Ria. The parts that I din manage to watch was due to the heavy rain.
21. Tonight I will really have a nice time sleeping on my bed. Everybody envies the comfort it has to offer.
22. Tomorrow I will see if my ulcer gets better. I will drink more water. I need to practice my trumpet, can't really do that with injured lips.
23. I really want to go the furthest with my trumpet.
24. Someone that will most likely repost this is someone who like to talk about life. At least his or her own life.
this meme touches my blonde side.
1. When is your birthday?
April 3rd 1981
2. How old are you now?
I am 18 years old and 26 years wise.
3. Where were you born?
In an Al-Arqam clinic, years before they got controversial. Kenapa tak percaya ke?
4. When did you first celebrated your birthday?
I guess mom would always celebrate it when I was young.
5. When will you next birthday be?
Wait. It won't be next month right? I think it's next year. Would it be in 2008 or 2009? (Hint- this sounds like a dumb question to me)
6. Did you remember getting birthday presents on your birthdays?
I had a free treat for karaoke. Thanks guys.
I had a free treat for Korean steamboat. Thanks guys.
I had several silver rings from mom.
I had a radio from dad.
I had a Batman wallet from auntie when I was in primary.
I had a Stephen King book from mom.
I had a Titanic video tape from mom. Can? Padahal the content is so wrong.
7. What are the 3 things do you want for your upcoming birthday?
The outrageous ones:
- A standard/heavy weight Vincent Bach Stradivarius trumpet. Light weight don't want.
- A twenty nine inch name brand flat CRT TV
- A whole make over for THE WHOLE house. It can be improved. Bali-oriental-modern-fushion style please.
8.What kind of presents you want for your birthday?
- General gifts that anyone would be happy to receive on their birthday
- NO house ornaments please. They collect dust. Unless it's a square rusty plate from Jonker Walk for me to put my wallet, phone, watch and keys when I'm home. Hm, maybe I'll be getting it sooner than my birthday.
-A trumpet stand? Hehe.
-A chocolate-lime pair of Crocs.
9.Who would you like to celebrate your birthday with?
Siti Nurhaliza. Can?
Well friends and a good dinner would be just nice.
10. How do you want to celebrate your birthday?
Not alone, I hope.
April 3rd 1981
2. How old are you now?
I am 18 years old and 26 years wise.
3. Where were you born?
In an Al-Arqam clinic, years before they got controversial. Kenapa tak percaya ke?
4. When did you first celebrated your birthday?
I guess mom would always celebrate it when I was young.
5. When will you next birthday be?
Wait. It won't be next month right? I think it's next year. Would it be in 2008 or 2009? (Hint- this sounds like a dumb question to me)
6. Did you remember getting birthday presents on your birthdays?
I had a free treat for karaoke. Thanks guys.
I had a free treat for Korean steamboat. Thanks guys.
I had several silver rings from mom.
I had a radio from dad.
I had a Batman wallet from auntie when I was in primary.
I had a Stephen King book from mom.
I had a Titanic video tape from mom. Can? Padahal the content is so wrong.
7. What are the 3 things do you want for your upcoming birthday?
The outrageous ones:
- A standard/heavy weight Vincent Bach Stradivarius trumpet. Light weight don't want.
- A twenty nine inch name brand flat CRT TV
- A whole make over for THE WHOLE house. It can be improved. Bali-oriental-modern-fushion style please.
8.What kind of presents you want for your birthday?
- General gifts that anyone would be happy to receive on their birthday
- NO house ornaments please. They collect dust. Unless it's a square rusty plate from Jonker Walk for me to put my wallet, phone, watch and keys when I'm home. Hm, maybe I'll be getting it sooner than my birthday.
-A trumpet stand? Hehe.
-A chocolate-lime pair of Crocs.
9.Who would you like to celebrate your birthday with?
Siti Nurhaliza. Can?
Well friends and a good dinner would be just nice.
10. How do you want to celebrate your birthday?
Not alone, I hope.
raya 2007
On the eve of Idulfitr,
I biked to my mom’s place with my iguana in a small tank on my lap, and a huge backpack on my back.
It’s a bit of small acrobatic act on the way home.
So we went to Perak from my mom’s place-
Me, mom, all my brothers and my youngest sister-
In my mom’s old Proton car.
We were expecting to arrive on the big day itself, just before the sun comes up.
My first younger brother drove the car.
He was a bit sleepy, so he decided to pull over and took a short nap.
Short nap ended to a deep long sleep.
Everyone was asleep.
I felt frozen by the aircond and frozen in time.
Instead of going all moody and bitchy about it (furthermore my iguana tank was on my lap and iguanas can’t stand drastic temperatures)-
I chose to be responsible and took action.
I decided to wake my brother up, and have myself being behind the wheel.
So I drove that night- with my walkman phone accompanying me.
On the next morning,
I wore my double tone baby blue and pink baju Melayu, matched with baby blue songket.
The kampong was pretty much the same as last year,
but this time I had the chance to act like a civilized person.
Although I remain not wanting to stay in the kampong too long, I did not sulk.
Subconsciously I chose to live in the moment, and be with it.
I chat with my uncles, aunties- and even my cousin whom I technically didn’t talk with for years due to the filter I have created myself towards them.
One cousin that I literally never talked with since I was in my teens- approached me and we chat about my iguana and his sugar glider.
We also went to visit my uncle’s wife’s childhood house- where all her sisters are living in. The house is modest, literally half renovated and half incomplete.
They are poor people who live by the day.
With the small amount of money they earn from selling drinks and food at a small stall,
They gradually have their house improved.
Got the money- and they can continue the renovation.
No money, it’s okay, they can halt it for a while
And save for the next phase for renovation.
I am really touched and I salute them for celebrating life-
Regardless of having to go through any condition.
The eldest of the sisters is already fifty years old.
Lying quietly on the floor, she was born mentally retarded.
Before entering the kitchen and joining everyone to eat the rendang and kuehs,
I decided to do something I never done before-
I took a chance to sit quietly by this old lady.
At first I was worried if she might get scared of me-
But I just sat there quietly with her.
Seeing her with her tiny hands and feet,
And once a while a small smile shown on her face-
I experienced being in the moment,
And being at peace.
Dad arrived that afternoon,
And I planned to follow him back to KL at that night,
Yes, on the same day- the first day of raya.
Mom is so cool-
After I proved to be a good boy,
I was given the green light to follow dad home.
(After all, my iguana was being restless the whole day in a small tank.)
So I drove back with my dad’s huge car (this is his latest favorite big boy’s toy I presume)-
All the way to KL and Damansara.
Dad’s car is so cool and I am happy to be given the chance to drive it again.
Felt like a captain of a huge ship, cruising through the dark highway;
I was given the responsibility to safely bring my crew to our destination- Damansara/KL.
I’ve got the best of all parts this raya, and I am grateful for that.
I was at the kampong sufficient enough to celebrate with all my relatives,
I was being responsible to bring peace and content to my mom,
And I was allowed to go back just before I was able to get bored.
And now I am already here in my cozy apartment on the second day of raya.
Ah, life.
something about idul fitr
Happy Aidilfitri to everyone.
I have something I find quite interesting here.
Ever wondered what Aidilfitri means?
"Fitri" or "Fitr" comes from the word "Fitrah".
"Aidil" or "Idul" means celebration day.
Hence, celebration day of fitrah.
For a person, exist therein two elements referring to the soul.
Fitrah, or good instinct, is one of them.
Nafsu, or lust, is the partner.
During the fasting month, the lust is trained so as for the human to practice controlling it. This is by the discipline of restricting consumption of food, having sexual intimacy, and a few routines- they are only allowed to be done after dusk and before dawn.
After a month, with the human’s determination and discipline- the lust has been “cleansed” and the inner good instinct- fitrah, reappeared.
Can’t we just pray to God to erase lust completely from ourselves?
After all lust is the cause of people wanting to do bad things, like stealing, lying, gossiping, even rape and murder.
Asking to erase lust is like asking God to take away our completely our enjoyment and fulfilling in this world.
Ever tasted the bitterness of food when we get a very bad fever?
Ever lose the mood to watch a very good art performance when we get worried over something serious that happened before that?
That is just a tiny example in life-
Imagine if the capability of tasting life’s enjoyment being taken away completely from us.
It’s not the matter of erasing it- it’s the matter of how we control it, with our good instinct, fitrah, and with our brains to think, the “akal”.
Again, happy Idulfitr everyone.
thought of it again
Pondering on my last post, I look back and see that I am growing up in a very supporting environment. All my close friends are having their own mission in life-
Bibik is drafting up a structure plan to direct higher level plays in the university.
Wicked Scientist is going to the path of reaching a PhD in research with genes.
Jules is doing programming to build cool systems for the government.
Catty is doing her part of nurturing kids of the next generation.
Mama Diva is having a great time looking to all the possible ways to bring up the name of the school orchestra through rigorous practice and by performing professional graded scores.
Big Boss is now playing in Thai Philharmonic Orchestra, while at the same time, furthering his masters and PhD in Performance.
I've got another friend who is a diligent lecturer, teaching the Pharmacy students in a college, always driven by the aim of excellence in terms of students as a product of the institution.
And another friend is in Bangkok, doing Masters in Biochem.
And of course there's another mate, doing masters locally, while in charge as the IT Executive of leading the IT Dept in the Engineering Faculty.
And dear dear Z is going to launch his design firm soon.
Endless list, that is.
I just couldn't list them all here.
As for me- I acknowledge myself for now gaining power to control my life, and having huge plans too. I am gonna be a pro trumpeter.
I am so excited.
*clapping hands gleefully.
Bibik is drafting up a structure plan to direct higher level plays in the university.
Wicked Scientist is going to the path of reaching a PhD in research with genes.
Jules is doing programming to build cool systems for the government.
Catty is doing her part of nurturing kids of the next generation.
Mama Diva is having a great time looking to all the possible ways to bring up the name of the school orchestra through rigorous practice and by performing professional graded scores.
Big Boss is now playing in Thai Philharmonic Orchestra, while at the same time, furthering his masters and PhD in Performance.
I've got another friend who is a diligent lecturer, teaching the Pharmacy students in a college, always driven by the aim of excellence in terms of students as a product of the institution.
And another friend is in Bangkok, doing Masters in Biochem.
And of course there's another mate, doing masters locally, while in charge as the IT Executive of leading the IT Dept in the Engineering Faculty.
And dear dear Z is going to launch his design firm soon.
Endless list, that is.
I just couldn't list them all here.
As for me- I acknowledge myself for now gaining power to control my life, and having huge plans too. I am gonna be a pro trumpeter.
I am so excited.
*clapping hands gleefully.
petty petty
Sometimes I would linger online, browsing through people's personals connected indirectly to mine.
Sometimes I would see people who look so cool in their photos, especially when they are already famous. And they are also having very cool celebrities getting linked with them.
And I will end up having this inauthentic ill feeling inside.
Do I envy them?
Am I returning to the life wasting mode of “If only I am something like them”?
And at this moment I am being powerful by able to realize that this whole thing could be summarized by one adjective and one noun-
TRIVIAL THOUGHTS.
Looking back to my life, I don't need to wish being anything of the above.
I've already got a perfect life- one which always moving further and further.
I've already got great friends- of people who are up to something big in their life.
What's more important to think about is- what to do next in this huge game I call: My Life.
*nodding
Sometimes I would see people who look so cool in their photos, especially when they are already famous. And they are also having very cool celebrities getting linked with them.
And I will end up having this inauthentic ill feeling inside.
Do I envy them?
Am I returning to the life wasting mode of “If only I am something like them”?
And at this moment I am being powerful by able to realize that this whole thing could be summarized by one adjective and one noun-
TRIVIAL THOUGHTS.
Looking back to my life, I don't need to wish being anything of the above.
I've already got a perfect life- one which always moving further and further.
I've already got great friends- of people who are up to something big in their life.
What's more important to think about is- what to do next in this huge game I call: My Life.
*nodding
gossip. hm.
Crisis is happening in the school orchestra- again.
I guess by this time I can now choose that this is a normal situation for any organization, the established ones included.
From what I have heard, this time the crisis involves about four to five parties. I am not sure which party is at fault, but any party who is as fault would be tarnishing other parties’ names and their own name too.
It’s quite ugly when a party wants to be in power, by using the dirtiest strategy ever- spreading gossips about the rest.
Each of us has already given a lot of effort to build the band. If you want to gain your own interest by improving the band, by all means do it, but don’t do it by ruining the others. Do it ethically and legally, and don’t spread rumors. Be upfront and transparent, because otherwise you will lose your own dignity.
Sigh~ here we go again. I am SO trying my best not to get involved this time.
I guess by this time I can now choose that this is a normal situation for any organization, the established ones included.
From what I have heard, this time the crisis involves about four to five parties. I am not sure which party is at fault, but any party who is as fault would be tarnishing other parties’ names and their own name too.
It’s quite ugly when a party wants to be in power, by using the dirtiest strategy ever- spreading gossips about the rest.
Each of us has already given a lot of effort to build the band. If you want to gain your own interest by improving the band, by all means do it, but don’t do it by ruining the others. Do it ethically and legally, and don’t spread rumors. Be upfront and transparent, because otherwise you will lose your own dignity.
Sigh~ here we go again. I am SO trying my best not to get involved this time.
baby steps perhaps
(Image is clickable)
This is something that my human machinery would hesitate to share. But only by sharing I could live up my possibility of being clear and transparent, and living up my hugest dreams.
A few days after having quite a mind provoking conversation with dear dear Z and Bibik, I’ve done a few small steps that actually I never intend to do too soon.
First, I went to the front desk of Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra, at KLCC. I requested for a form for me to enroll in the Education Outreach Program, so that I can get myself a tutor to improve myself. The whole management office was in a meeting at that time- so I was assured that they would post me the form instead.
Due to what my friends said to me that in the norm the MPO would expect student applicants to have some level of music background for them to audition before they can get tutored, I did not hope much.
After contemplating into my second decision- I have decided to send a humble phone text to another prominent musician, instructor and lecturer. He is based at the National Theatre.
I was really lit up when he actually called. I was like- Oh my god, Oh my god.
We chat a bit and settled to have my first meeting to get his consultation after Idulfitr.
There’s a very long journey in front there that I can see in front of me.
I can choose to walk briskly, or I can choose to cycle very fast.
Of course I have fear- but I won’t let my human machinery put me down.
With the trumpet in my hand,
With the charter of life that I’ve already created,
With my power to say what my life is going to be written,
With close ones who would always remind and guide me,
And with the love of God,
I will go very, very far.
This is something that my human machinery would hesitate to share. But only by sharing I could live up my possibility of being clear and transparent, and living up my hugest dreams.
A few days after having quite a mind provoking conversation with dear dear Z and Bibik, I’ve done a few small steps that actually I never intend to do too soon.
First, I went to the front desk of Malaysian Philharmonic Orchestra, at KLCC. I requested for a form for me to enroll in the Education Outreach Program, so that I can get myself a tutor to improve myself. The whole management office was in a meeting at that time- so I was assured that they would post me the form instead.
Due to what my friends said to me that in the norm the MPO would expect student applicants to have some level of music background for them to audition before they can get tutored, I did not hope much.
After contemplating into my second decision- I have decided to send a humble phone text to another prominent musician, instructor and lecturer. He is based at the National Theatre.
I was really lit up when he actually called. I was like- Oh my god, Oh my god.
We chat a bit and settled to have my first meeting to get his consultation after Idulfitr.
There’s a very long journey in front there that I can see in front of me.
I can choose to walk briskly, or I can choose to cycle very fast.
Of course I have fear- but I won’t let my human machinery put me down.
With the trumpet in my hand,
With the charter of life that I’ve already created,
With my power to say what my life is going to be written,
With close ones who would always remind and guide me,
And with the love of God,
I will go very, very far.
a translation
To my dear dear Z.
I present this one aspiration of mine
Down in my heart just for you
And I will give my all that I can
To love you
‘Til you feel being my devotion
Though there will be hardship when we’re in love
But by that it shows that you’re just splendour
And I’ll make sure that
I’m the lucky one
Celebrating love
More than everything
My inner side never been touched
As how it feels since being with you
Giving me warmth
Til I can’t bear being without you
Because you’re the one who brought me happiness
Your ways made me admit it
You’ve open my eyes and my heart
You’ve shifted my life
Making it complete
Though there will be hardship when we’re in love
But by that it shows that you’re just splendour
And I’ll make sure that
I’m the lucky one
Celebrating love
More than everything
-I’m the Lucky One, Anuar Zain.
I present this one aspiration of mine
Down in my heart just for you
And I will give my all that I can
To love you
‘Til you feel being my devotion
Though there will be hardship when we’re in love
But by that it shows that you’re just splendour
And I’ll make sure that
I’m the lucky one
Celebrating love
More than everything
My inner side never been touched
As how it feels since being with you
Giving me warmth
Til I can’t bear being without you
Because you’re the one who brought me happiness
Your ways made me admit it
You’ve open my eyes and my heart
You’ve shifted my life
Making it complete
Though there will be hardship when we’re in love
But by that it shows that you’re just splendour
And I’ll make sure that
I’m the lucky one
Celebrating love
More than everything
-I’m the Lucky One, Anuar Zain.
nice weather, init?
When I was in high school, I am known as the queer one. Brought up in an all boys school, the loud ‘popular’ ones would see me in a different way. It is a culture for everyone to make fun of everyone, and I wasn’t exempted from that.
I took what they said about me as nasty remarks and it made me really upset. I felt unwanted, and I isolate myself from the whole batch. My friends were only those in the school orchestra, and those who have the same sexuality as mine.
The funny thing is, my friends who were oriented the same way as me, and some were really effeminate, did not struggle the way I did.
It’s just the matter of what we make it mean of what had happened in our surroundings. So what if the straight dudes called us with creative rude names. My friends have proved that during their high school life, they couldn’t be bothered of what their classmates say about them. It’s just something that every student in the school does.
Instead of being offended, they joined the whole group. They tease you, you tease them back. They were being powerful by not making it so significant. After all, you won’t die just because your school mate made fun of you.
Because of my experience in high school, subconsciously a gap was created between me and any straight guy that I have to communicate with. I feel awkward being around with them; and my good reason is that their mind and what they talk about is so different to that of mine.
But seriously –if we embrace the differences among us, suprisingly it will make us united.
I gave up my myth and perception about straight guys out there.
It actually takes only one person to initiate a communication between two individuals.
If both sides decided to keep quiet, then no conversation would happen.
And then both sides would start to make assumptions of the other,
Without even taking the initiative to start the talk.
I now take on being responsible to that.
And I can choose to just observe, or start to greet them.
And the funny thing is, you can realize that,
Actually they are as scared, as timid, and as shy as we do.
So, how about we take on the role of starting the conversation.
Don’t just sit there-
Say hi.
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